Dear Diary It's starting to feel like I'm living two separate lives. On one hand, I dream about The Spaniard and how wonderful it will be when I see him again. We aren't officially together, but would be if we lived in the same Country. On the other hand, there's Karate Kid. He is becoming … Continue reading Playing with Fire – Entry 90

Dear Diary The movie session with Karate Kid didn't happen last week. I was really excited about the evening and made sure that I left work on time. As I was leaving work I checked my phone and smiled when I saw a message from him...that was until I actually read the message. At first, … Continue reading Deer in Headlights – Entry 89

Dear Diary This morning was the second hearing for my bond issue. I wasn't surprised when the ex-landlord didn't show again. What I wasn't expecting was to be humiliated in the Court room. I admit that I don't understand much about the Court system and the situation is likely a result of my ignorance, but … Continue reading Are You Serious?! – Entry 88

Dear Diary Tuesday morning arrived in all it's glory and I had not received any word from Karate Kid about whether we were meeting that night or Thursday. By this stage I'd give up on the idea of seeing him outside our social circle. Five minutes before my shift ended he sent through a message … Continue reading Another Chance – Entry 87

Dear Diary I was starting to feel desperate not knowing which direction to plan my future towards. It was silly in a way, as I already knew how things were....and how they will only ever be. Yet, the flicker of hope that kindled strong within gave me enough faith to take the leap.....and so I … Continue reading A Dream’s Death, Soup Paparazzi and Indecent Exposure – Entry 86

Dear Diary I'd like to tell you about how the chat with The Spaniard went over the phone the other day. I was really hoping for a heart-to-heart and to determine where we stood and if it was worth actively pursuing something together. It didn't quite turn out like that as he called me at … Continue reading Good News – Entry 85

Dear Diary I've been feeling numb the whole day. I made a bad life choice last night and really regret it. The silly part is that if I had had more inner strength it could have been avoided. Perhaps it stems from post-holiday withdrawal...or maybe I was just craving connection...either way I'm feeling pretty ashamed … Continue reading Chicken Soup For Two – Entry 84

Dear Diary It's always a strange feeling returning home after being abroad. Is it rediscovered clarity that makes you want to reassess everything and plan for a future in a new direction? I could just be speaking for myself also. Perhaps, others are happy to be back at home and to resume their usual lives … Continue reading At Crossroads – Entry 83

Dear Diary I hardly slept last night. This was for two reasons - my Father was unwell with his cold and secondly I had a heavy sadness over my heart thinking about The Spaniard. I played some dance music that he had sent me and I cried silently as the music provoked vivid flashbacks of … Continue reading Adiós Hasta… – Entry 82

Dear Diary It's almost as if the Gods were listening to my prayers the last time I wrote you. The Spaniard came to Seville as he said he would and my Father wasn't too pleased with this stranger joining us -"where did you say you this guy again??". My biggest concern was the sleeping situation … Continue reading The Visit and the Last Dance – Entry 81