It Takes Two To Tango – Entry 209

Dear Diary

I forgot two loose ends to tie up in the last entry:

The first update is The Spaniard. I haven’t heard from him since July 2018. He hasn’t made any plan to see him despite his message on 7th December 2017: “If you’re not coming to see me I have to go to see you…no joke.” I thought it worth mentioning so as to highlight that some people make promises that they don’t intend on following through with.

The second loose end is with Mr Shy Guy. I may have mentioned that he’s dating a Russian lady now? Well, they have been together since June 2018 if you didn’t know. Things seem to be going strong for them and I can’t help but feel that Karate Kid is jealous that Mr Shy Guy managed to end up with someone like her. Anyway, onto the more interesting stuff.

Do you remember me mentioning rumours that Karate Kid had about Mr Shy Guy a few months back? Ones that made me change my perception and opinion on him? Well, one has been confirmed without me really trying.

I invited Mr Shy Guy to ‘my birthday’ party and the suprise birthday party group events on Facey. He put ‘maybe’ for attendance which is standard for him. Historically, he has a track record of putting ‘maybe’ and not turning up. As the party is really for Karate Kid and they have been friends for a long time, I sent Mr Shy Guy a message to ask if he intended on coming. I also had another two agendas, I thought he might be able to help with choosing a costume for Karate Kid (they both love Marvel and DC), and I was thinking of a group movie outing in lieu of the decoy party on 29th or 26th December:

Hi SG 🙂 How are you? Have you decided how to dress for the birthday party? Your girlfriend is welcome to come to the surprise party too. Do you know which big moves are coming out on Boxing Day this year?”

Hi Anastasia. I’m good, how are you? 🙂 Not sure if I’ll go. KK has been a selfish d**k in the past. I’ve done presents for him before (a novelty umbrella a few years back, per KK….) and he’s never done anything for me. Lots of insults on top of that and I’m not close to him anymore (True, KK did tell me about how he sent an onslaught of messages saying he had no respect for him after all the dodge things he’d done over the years). Also, saving money is a huge goal and weekends I’m away usually (visiting the GF). Not sure what’s a good movie around Christmas.”

Woah. There is a lot of emotion in that response. I didn’t realise that there was so much tension between them. They usually awkwardly greet each other at social events, but I detect a lot of hatred behind these words. I decided to attempt to pacify some of the angst between them.

Hi SG. I’m well, thank you. Haven’t been dancing much but hoping to get back into it soon.

Are you going to the dance congress this weekend? I’m on call so will live vicariously through everyone else haha.

I’m sorry to hear that. You two used to be like double trouble. Friends for such a long time I hope that things turn in a different direction. If you wanted to come for the birthday you’d be more than welcome. It’s a big thing to pardon someone for hurtful behaviour, and something only you can choose to do if you truly want to.

I’m thinking of pre-organising a big movie session for the next good movie coming out is all. Thought you’d be the best person to check with haha.”

Shy Guy replied:

Yeah, I’m going, should be fun! 🙂

KK was a long time friend, but he has some really sh***y behaviour (I agreed with this statement but couldn’t really say that in reply). A log of the time I’d give it a pass because he’s KK. But the last stuff was very rude. Things like getting angry at friends because he had to save movie seats (I saved more without complaining), insults, rude, selfish, etc. (I agreed to some extent). Especially the stuff about [Girl’s name]. It’s easier to walk away. He’s still a friend but I don’t trust him anymore.”

Hmmm seems like their friendship is practically dead and buried. I didn’t think that KK realised that he’d burnt a bridge.

It looks like fun 🙂 think I’m missing out big time.

Hmmm I can see why you’d want to distance yourself from that behaviour. He does get irritated easily over some things. Who’s [Girl’s name]? and what happened?

How do you feel about doing dinner some time? you, your GF, KK and I? Just to see how you feel and if the friendship is dead, it’s dead. I’m happy to cook and I have board games too if you guys are into that?”

His reply stunned me:

“[Girl’s name] was my dance partner and a lot more. She was married and I felt guilty but too scared to go forward. I broke up with her because I felt like I was holding her back and she undreinded me and started a family I heard.

I spent a long time mourning. I used to spend hours standing around a particular shopping centre hoping to randomly bump into her. I didn’t chase other girls.

Try for dinner but i”m sure it won’t change my perception.”

How do you reply to that? Karate Kid had told me that story and I tried to keep an open mind as it was hard to believe. Here it is confirmed, though, straight from the horse’s mouth.

Sounds like you really liked her. Super tough situation :/ some heavy barriers for things working out. I don’t know how anyone would navigate that situation. It’s heartbreaking hearing how much you missed her. Sounds like it still hurts. I’m sure it was hard for her too.”

He didn’t reply. I guess it wasn’t appropriate as he now has a girlfriend that I hope he cares for just as much.

My personal opinion on this situation is that she should have left her husband if she didn’t want to be with him anymore. If you’re tempted to cheat it means that you’re not invested in the current relationship and you should respect the other person and let them go. I’d say that she was waiting for Shy Guy to make a move before she left her husband, but he chickened out. I wonder how her marriage is going now. I’m sure one day Karate Kid will give us an update as he knows her.

The other story that Karate Kid had told me was about how Shy Guy has gone to the house of a girl and tried to climb up onto her balcony so they could sleep together. She had recently divorced and they had been talking online. When Shy Guy turned up she called other male friends to come and make him leave. It makes me think that there was some interest there on her part, especially if he knew which bedroom balcony was hers. I don’t really know her, so can’t comment. She’s engaged now and getting married for a second time. I think she leads men on a bit from other stories that Karate Kid has told me about her.

The question is, should I follow through with the dinner invitation? or should I let things just die in the water? I asked Karate Kid how he felt about Shy Guy and he said that he didn’t think too much of him and didn’t care if they were friends or not. I think having Shy Guy at the party could ruin the mood of the festivities so might just let things be for the meantime and let them reconcile their differences organically, if it’s ever possible.

Anastasia xo


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