Please Keep My Secret – Entry 213

Dear Diary

How are you? I hope that life has been treating you well.

Munchkin chops, Karate Kid and I are now living in the unit that I purchased a few months ago. I’m really happy with how the life plan is unfolding. Munchkin chops is definitely settled and part of the family. We call him ‘little Prince’ and treat him like royalty (he definitely deserves it after his hard life).

Let’s fast forward to from the last post, to now. I did promise you updates, and I have updates to go with the updates:

Mr Nice Guy is seriously dating someone. They have been dating for at least 6 months now and she has moved in with him. We hardly see or hear from Mr Nice Guy anymore. I finally had the chance to meet this mystery woman last month. I was honestly starting to get worried that he was so isolated from his friends.

The mystery lady is very pretty and curvy. She works in childcare and has a 5 year old daughter herself. She lost the custody battle of primary parent soon after giving birth to her daughter. When Mr Nice Guy explained it to me, he said that it was because her ex-boyfriend was a lawyer and she didn’t stand a chance. He said that soon after her daughter was taken away from her that she had a break down and needed to be admitted to an institution for recovery. He said that it was understandable considering the situation and that he hadn’t noted any red flags whilst dating her.

Speaking of institutions, there was a coincidence just three months ago. One of my recently divorced friends has been unwell mentally, and spent some time in an institution. She really wanted to meet up with me after being discharged, so I agreed. I soon realised that there was an ulterior motive for it…she met another lady in the institution who knew Mr Nice Guy…and this is where it gets interesting….

Mr Nice Guy always told us that his ex-partner was aggressive and emotionally manipulative towards time. She separated him from his friends and family. Once, she even threw a set of keys at him which cut him. Anyway, they eventually broke up and it was messy. He also mentioned that his ex-partner had a twin sister who needed to be admitted to an institution after he and her sister became an item. He said that apparently she jealous of her sister…..so, let’s find out the other side to the story, shall we?

My friend told me that she met this lady in the institution. This lady added my friend on social media, and she noticed that Mr Nice Guy was a friend of hers…she asked how my friend knew him – she said through me. The lady then demanded to know who I was. She explained that we are long time friends and play board games together and other group adventures…..the lady then tells me friend “He’s the one I love. My first love that I told you about. I still love him’.

My friend also secretly has a crush on Mr Nice Guy, but became unwell before she could pursue anything with him. She was glad that she didn’t admit to also being in love with Mr Nice Guy. The more awkward part is what the lady said next…

She said that she was the twin sister of the ex-partner of Mr Nice Guy. She said that she had been dating Mr Nice Guy first before her sister and that he had taken her virginity. Apparently, one day he decided that he liked to other sister more, and chose her. This lady said that she was never able to fully forgive her sister for stealing Mr Nice Guy from her…..talk about bombshell.

I realised that the reason for my friend’s visit was to seek more information about Mr Nice Guy for her new friend from the institution. I explained to my friend that Mr Nice Guy was in a committed relationship, and that even though none of us had seen him in a long time or met the new girlfriend, that he seemed happy.

After my friend left, I debated with myself whether or not to share this interaction with Mr Nice Guy. I had to sleep on in and then decided that I would want a friend to inform me if an alleged ex-partner was stalking me on social media and asking about me. So, I phoned Mr Nice Guy to tell him the news.

Mr Nice Guy didn’t deny nor confirm the allegations of what the lady had said, he was simply silent when I told him what I’d heard. I then told him that he should change his profile to private so that he and his new girlfriend wouldn’t receive any unsolicited messages in future. He thanked me for the information and we didn’t speak for a couple of months after that.

Let’s just say, we need more time to digest who Mr Nice Guy is when he’s in a relationship. Watch this space.


 

The next two updates are about my Newly Single Friend

The first – a message from the jerk she was dating (the one who kept ‘liking’ the photos of the other girl on his holiday and couldn’t see what the problem was).

Newly Single Friend had moved on, but the jerk had had trouble forgetting her. Please don’t feel sorry for him, he’s still a jerk at the end of the day.

After she gave him the flick, the jerk tried multiple ways of contacting her. She ended up blocking him on every social media platform known to man. He then hit an all time low by sending her an email through his workplace by accessing her information. My friend proceeded to ignore his email.

He then sent me a message, but it didn’t have the tone I would expect from someone groveling to win someone back with…

Do you think if you ask XX for me, I want to catch up and clear things she would? I hate asking Anastasia. Could you help me out please

Really poor grammar in that sentence…maybe he was intoxicated?

I had to reply to him so that he would leave my friend alone:

Hi (Jerk’s name). Please forgive me for not getting back to you sooner. I haven’t really been on line for ages since December. It was so weird all us bumping into each other on the weekend too! We were at a conference and were late to get to a table booked for dinner.
XX is actually seeing someone now. It looks like it’s pretty serious (i.e. meeting the parent’s stage). I don’t think that there’s any point getting in contact with her, if you know what I mean.
He replied soon after:

Just wanted 5 minutes with her and explain to me why… I really hope her new bf doesn’t go on any trips overseas without her- good luck to him. The most selfish girl I have ever met.

He just justified my choice not to connect him with my friend. Once a jerk, always a jerk.

The second update (that you likely already guessed) – she met someone! and he ticked almost every box – he was a definite keeper. My Newly Single Friend had a few crazy moments when she was convincing him not to talk to his ex-girlfriend anymore, but they worked through them (I’m skipping a lot of drama by the way).

They have both met each other’s parents, and also been on a holiday together. They live together when he’s not away for work, and are very coupley. I have been so happy for her these past few months, comparing her boyfriend to Karate Kid and wondering if I should have tried harder to get an ‘all rounder’. I was convinced that they’d also be engaged within a year of dating…until last week….

So, I got a message from Newly Single Friend that read “So. XX and I had a massive fight and he left today for good.” I called my friend as soon as I read the message (about 7 hours after she’d sent it). She had gathered herself enough to be able to have a calm conversation with me about what happened.

XX had been away for three weeks for work (which is normal). He had seemed more distant this time and Newly Single Friend had that as an agenda item to discuss with him when he returned. Upon his return, however, he smelt of cigarettes and alcohol. She confronted him about giving up smoking and then he snapped. He said that he didn’t like how she prevented him from speaking to his ex-girlfriend anymore, and then said that he had met someone whilst away at work “nothing had happened” but that he just wanted her to know…..My friend naturally lost control and started yelling after hearing this, and it essentially ended with him packing up his things and leaving. It’s been 10 days and she still hasn’t heard from him.

My Newly Single Friend mentioned that he had wanted to sleep with her before the fight, but that he had what seemed to be an infection in his private area….I am very suspicious that he may have a sexually transmitted infection. She did well to turn him down for sex, totally not worth risking contracting something when he’s obviously been cheating on her.

She also opened up that he did have a substance use problem. He was dependent on sleeping tablets and drank heavily whenever they went out. She said that he didn’t seem to be able to cope with the pressures of life and would turn to substances to ease his stress.

I think she dodged a massive bullet if you ask me. I totally didn’t expect behaviour like this from someone who acted like such a gentleman each time I saw him.  The good news is that Newly Single Friend is getting straight back into the single’s scene. She’ll find another man in no time, I know that for sure.


 

Now for the main thing that I need to share with you: I think that I may have feelings for someone, someone who’s not Karate Kid. I will share more with you soon, and give you some context so that you can understand the situation better.

Talk soon.

Anastasia xo

 

IMAGE: Wix.com

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