Deer in Headlights – Entry 89

Dear Diary

The movie session with Karate Kid didn’t happen last week. I was really excited about the evening and made sure that I left work on time. As I was leaving work I checked my phone and smiled when I saw a message from him…that was until I actually read the message. At first, I thought he was joking. Then it dawned on me that he wasn’t. The message read:

Hmmm I don’t recall if we had plans for tonight? I am currently doing freestyle wrestling and will check my phone”

The message was sent five minutes before my shift ended. This upset me even more. How could he leave it to the last minute to confirm if we were actually meeting or not? Offended by his carelessness and lack of consideration, I told him that I didn’t feel like going out any more that night. A message came soon after blaming me for not being clear with my reply to his invitation and also advising me that I had until 8pm to change my mind, after which he would be going to see a movie on his own. This enraged me even more and I didn’t bother replying.

Over the course of the weekend Karate Kid did try to communicate with me. I did rather well to avoid his calls and text. I was thinking to myself that he practically made the decision between him and The Spaniard so easy for me. I didn’t even have to break his heart as he spoiled it on his own accord. It was easy until Sunday evening…

Sunday evening I decided to go out dancing as it had felt like forever since I’d put my dancing shoes on. I had some amazing dances that night with the Tardy Teacher, Dance Teacher and Karate Kid. Mr Friendly was there, but he’s a beginner, so not an amazing dance – let’s just call it charity work. Mr Spark was there and again we ignored each other. I think he may have wanted to dance with me at the end but the Tardy Teacher was too busy sweeping me off my feet, literally.

Whilst we were dancing, Karate Kid asked me if I was still upset with him and also if we should even be dancing together. His brazenness irritated me but also impressed me as normally men would be deterred by my cold shoulder. He wanted to know if I planned to disappear without saying goodbye that night. I said that like every other time if he caught me, no, and if he didn’t, then yes.

I waited until near the end of the party when Karate Kid decided to dance with two women at once and casually walked out half-way through a song. I slowly walked to my car thinking comforting thoughts as to why being single wasn’t so bad after all. I got to my car and started to pull out of the car space. Suddenly, my headlights shone on a man walking in the middle of the road – it was Karate Kid. Was he insane? I reversed the car back into the park and he came to the passenger side door and got in.

We spoke for maybe ten minutes about the misunderstanding. He then asked me if I was free on Tuesday and/or Thursday night the coming week. I hesitated and he asked me again but more forcefully as if to make a point. I can see where he’s coming from….maybe I agree in my head and forget to verbalise my response sometimes. We kissed, and then he ran back to the party to help pack up (as this is what he always does to help Dance Teacher).

That Sunday morning I also had a catch up with The Musician. We met at a park in a suburb close to where we live. We walked and spoke for maybe an hour or more. I must admit that I do enjoy talking with him. He was very excited about his new job which I’m really pleased that he finally encountered. I didn’t feel much of a sexual attraction to him, more of a friendly energy. He did suggest we catch up again and maybe for a meal next time as now he has a paycheck. I said that I’d like that.

That morning I also had brunch with an hold housemate. They listened to my story about Spain and The Spaniard and they asked me when I would see him next. They liked the idea of me pursuing where it may lead and encouraged me to look into my options. Their theory was that we should have mini retirements throughout life of maybe six to twelve months in length so that we enjoy life whilst we are young and able, and also so that we know what sort of life we’d like to lead when we are retired. The conversation has certainly got me to doing some serious thinking about what to do…..quit work for a year and travel and work in Spain? It is rather tempting.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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