Dear Diary

I didn’t mention yesterday about one person that I encountered just before moving away. It was at a big event dance party the night we met. I held my breath when I first saw him and my stomach churned with butterflies. He was so good looking and was a good dancer – which is always a bonus. I was too timid to ask him for a dance so avoided eye contact and danced with other men. After maybe half an hour or so he came up to me to ask me to dance. It was one of my favourite songs which I knew all the lyrics to, so I sang whilst we danced. I felt that there was a connection between us though I knew nothing about this man. After the dance we thanked each other and moved onto other dancers. I left without saying goodbye but continued to think about him.

A couple of days later he found me on Facebook and I accepted. No messages were exchanged. I commenced my new life in the new town far from the city. I thought of him often and still felt butterflies in my stomach each time – why was he so significant?

A year later we would meet again at a mutual friend’s wedding. It took him two hours to come over to talk to me, I’d been avoiding eye contact as I was too shy to approach him. He asked me about where I was living and soon discovered he’d spent part of his childhood there, something I found very sweet. He asked how long I would stay there and I explained my plans of another 18 months. From his reaction I could tell that he was put off by that time frame so I swallowed that dose of reality and excused myself. I didn’t want to give the impression that anything would happen that night between us. He left the reception soon after I did that night. The next day he sent me a message on Facebook wishing me a safe drive home. I felt like I was on Cloud 9 reading it and day dreamed about him for parts of the journey home – who was this cute stranger? and why did he make me feel the way I did?

We’d cross paths with each other only a handful of times for the next year. He’d always take at least an hour and a glass of alcohol before approaching me to dance. Each time I saw him my stomach would knot and I’d catch my breath and freeze. There’s a party coming up this weekend that he sometimes goes to….I wonder if I’d be so lucky to see him again? and I wonder if he has a girlfriend? I mean, it has been two years and he’s never pursued me further than asking me to dance.

Anastasia

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