Anastasia’s First Diary Entry

Dear Diary

It’s so wonderful to be back in the city! Finally, able to dance whenever I like and there’s so much more on offer. It’s been two years since I moved away for work opportunities and it seems like a lot has changed during that time……

Do you remember the Medical Consultant I wrote to you about back then? The one that had a voice of velvet and aura of strength, depth and passion? He took me for dinner once at a restaurant in the Hinterland on a mountain with a magical twinkling city lights view. I liked him back then, but was too scared to commit to a relationship. Well, he is engaged now. I passed him in the street on my way to a dance party the other night. He told me the news and I smiled warmly and congratulated him. Inside I felt confused, a little bit hurt, happy for him and also regret. I still harbored profound respect for him and his relationship, so kept a civil distance for the course of the evening. A lady doesn’t interfere with relationships.

Do you remember to self-made Millionaire? The one that I met when I was in my early twenties and still naive and trusting? The one that was clearly interested but suggested the idea of open relationship that I wasn’t comfortable with, but too passive to express? Well, he is in a committed relationship as well. I found that out by accident when he picked me up in his Lexus on our way to dinner and his mobile wallpaper was of a girl I’d never seen before….That was an awkward conversation. At the dance party we went to afterwards it progressed to an even higher level of awkwardness when friends of his came over to ask him where his girlfriend was when they saw us arrive together….I avoided him for the rest of the night and found my own way home. A lady doesn’t act the fool.

Do you remember the Eye Specialist? The one who I’m sure has Asperger’s? I’m sure you recall me telling you about the date we went on just before I moved away. He took me to Yum Cha and said to me ‘What would you like to order? It doesn’t look like you’re on a diet’. I burst into laughter in shock initially, then was perplexed as to whether it was an insult or compliment. Thankfully, I had plenty of self confidence and self love at the time to not care what his intent was. He then followed with ‘I mean, you look well nourished’. This time I didn’t laugh, I sipped my Chinese tea instead. The decision to not see him again after that meal was promptly made in that instant. I saw him out dancing last weekend. He’s still single. So am I, so I shouldn’t be too judgmental. A lady should keep her head held high and smile pleasantly through awkward moments.

This was week one of my return to the big smoke. I hope that there are some fish still left in the sea.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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