This entry was written after dinner with The Millionaire. I’ll write to you soon about everything else that has been happening…..
I have mixed emotions about this evening for a number of reasons. Let’s start with the elephant in the room: why did I agree to it?
I stand by my original justification that I enjoyed spending time with The Millionaire years ago. The conversations were always stimulating and I found his presence and energy to be comfortable and inspiring. The elephant in the corner trying not to knock over the furniture is that I know that he’s always been interested in me and that there was a high likelihood that he still would be.
I liked how he organised the dinner with ease. It was so refreshing compared to every other date I’ve been on in the past two years. He politely and efficiently set a time, date and place convenient for me. The first thing he said to me after we said hello was that I looked beautiful. He was genuine and said it with confidence – not something that many men could pull off (in my experience, at least).
We met outside the cinemas. He was well dressed and cheerful as always. It turned out that that night there was an event celebrating the release of the new Fifty Shades of Grey movie….he joked about how we could look at the chains and whips they were selling. I was a little uncomfortable but laughed to emphasize that I interpreted it as a joke. We didn’t look at them and instead went to find a restaurant.
He asked me where I’d like to eat and proceeded to help me browse the restaurants at the precinct until I found one that I wanted to eat at. We looked at about eight restaurants before I chose a mid-range Thai restaurant. He then let me direct what we would eat that night and choose if dessert would be part of the menu.
I dressed nicely, but not extravagantly. I wore a white dress, purple floral scarf, black cardigan, pearls and cream heels. I only put mascara, eye liner and a subtle lipstick on as I didn’t want to put too much effort in. It was a weeknight after all, I wanted to keep us in the friend’s zone and in a way, I was kind of dating Karate Kid.
For dinner time conversation, he asked me some general questions about how I’d been spending my time the past few years. He pointed out that it’d been seven years since ‘I disappeared out of his life’. It had also been at least four years since we last went out to dinner together (I think he forgot about this as he was dating someone at the time – I didn’t know until I accidentally found out during the dinner when I saw a photo of her as he background picture on his phone).
I turned the focus of the conversation back on to him. He didn’t mention his ex-girlfriend or that he’d broken up with her. He did talk about his latest business ventures and also that he had been doing active charity work. He told me that he had been learning gourmet cooking over the years and then joked that I hadn’t invited him over for dinner yet. I said that it’d be hard to cook for someone with so much talent in the kitchen (nice save? perhaps, or just a cheap stall tactic so not to have to commit to anything).
He paid for our meals and so I offered to pay for the gelati that we had discussed over dinner. Surprisingly, he accepted. I guessed that he was used to women taking advantage of his financial situation and so was likely testing me.
After I paid for our gelati, he suggested that we go and sit in public lounge chairs close by in the center of the eating precinct. The chairs were comfortable and we spoke for maybe an hour about different concept about society. He insisted on sampling my gelato and offered for me to try his. I didn’t want to share, but felt it the right thing to do. I liked my flavour best and told him that.
He did subtly bring up a subject that he had in the past: polygamy. Diary, I think this is why he is single, I honestly think he’ll find it hard to meet a woman who doesn’t want a monogamous relationship (but who knows). I remember him asking my opinion on polygamy many years ago. Like a did back then, tonight I also dodged the question.
He brought up the topic of children and said that he thought he was getting too old to have them. He then asked me if I wanted children. I said that I didn’t want them right now, but I liked the idea of having them one day. I said that I was more interested in getting a puppy now but that it’d be cruel because I’m hardly home.
He asked me twice if I’d like to see him again. I didn’t feel comfortable saying now and was wondering if it would be possible to be friends….but it was obvious by that stage that he was looking to date….I didn’t make him any promises, I just said that ‘it sounded like a nice idea‘.
He took a photo of us on the lounge chair. I made the peace sign with my fingers so that it made the photo look more friend-like than date-like. I prayed that the picture wouldn’t make it’s way to Facey….The Millionaire is a conservative man so I think it’s a safe bet to make that he wouldn’t upload it. I reasoned that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he did – because if Karate Kid saw it it would spark conversation and hopefully some sort of primal instinct within him to start pursing a committed relationship with me.
The Millionaire walked me to my car. I offered to drop him back at his car which was at the other side of the complex. It turned out that we were on the wrong level searching for his car so it took a while to actually locate it. When we finally found it he made a point of saying that he’d had a great time with me and that he’d like to do it again. I thanked him also and said that it’d be nice but didn’t give him a chance to set a time and date.
As I drove home, I checked my phone via blue tooth….there was a message from Karate Kid. I felt so guilty and quietly whispered to myself “sorry, KK, I’m sorry that I did this to you”. I then gave myself a reality check: I hadn’t done anything wrong as I was meeting with an old friend (if I met with him again knowing that he was interested in dating, then that would potentially be an issue). The other argument in my head was that Karate Kid hadn’t been trying hard to win my heart – that was why I was okay with taking the risk to meet with other male friends who may have an ulterior motive. For me, our relationship is on life support and it’s a miracle that we are still together, however awkward it may be [more on this to come in the next entry – promise].
When I arrived home, I opened the attachment that Karate Kid had sent. It was a photo of his meal and a caption “Hmmmmmm yum!!!! :)”. Tonight must have been the night that his Boss wanted Karate Kid to join him and some other managers for dinner, they were having lobster. I replied with “mmm mmmm”……I honestly don’t know when Karate Kid and I will finish the talk that we were meant to have the night before…..
The Millionaire sent me a message soon after I arrived home: “Are you home safely?”.
I replied: “Yes, I am, thank you TM. Good night :)”
Somehow, he reminded me that I hadn’t yet replied to the Radiologist who sent a message a few days ago saying that despite living further North in another city, that he spends most weekends in my city and would like to catch up…. I’d like to see him because I used to like dining with him years ago also.
IMAGE: [JANA GOUTHOVA] 123RF.COM