Can You Believe It? – Entry 170

Dear Diary

I’m pleased to report that Karate Kid was in contact the day after I arrived overseas. His message read:

Testing 1 2 3…… not sure if you will get this message…..”

I was so happy to get this message. It meant that there was still hope for us. I replied soon after with:

Me: “Hello 🙂 yes, it came through alright.”

KK: “Hahahe it’s raining and pouring….it’s going to be a cold night… good spooning weather :p Now when do your friends arrive?”

Me (next day): “Hehehe good morning. They arrive on Friday during the morning.”

It wasn’t for two days later that a message came through from him. I had been wondering what the delay was but figured that he must have been busy:

“Ok good, so are you free on Tuesday night? I’ll come around to discuss about your party and stuff, we might even watch Angry Beavers…..I want to know why you love them so much. Hehehe if you like of course. Also, what is your schedule like for your actual birthday? Also, what are you doing for Christmas?”

It was Tuesday morning at 3.45am when the message came through whilst I was at the airport. I replied straight away as there must have been a delay. I said that I would love to see him that night.

At 5.30pm, he replied. I noticed that he really had taken on board what I’d said the last week about him not being thoughtful enough of my needs and wants.

“Hahha hello wabbit, just finished work. See you soon. Have you had dinner? I’m thinking of doing some takeaway if we are watching Angry Beavers. Is there any thing you would like to eat?”

I had already organised stir fry but agreed to his suggestion of bringing dessert…..he ended up bringing one of my favourite ice creams!

Tuesday night was wonderful. I enjoyed his company and he even offered to help clear the plates after dinner. We watched some episodes of Angry Beavers which we both enjoyed. He stayed the night and offered to wash up dishes after breakfast.

He asked me if myself and my teo visiting girlfriends would like to go to see Star Wars on Friday night with him and the usual group. I already knew about it as Shy Guy had texted me to see if I was going. Well, he actually wove it into conversation when I checked to see if he was still going to make it to my birthday party on Saturday night as he hadn’t transferred money yet (I asked guests to contribute a small amount of money in lieu of presents to offset the expense a little for me).

Karate Kid offered to get our tickets for us as he could get a discount with his network company. I agreed but said that I’d need his bank details so that I could transfer the money for our tickets. He didn’t say anything. The next morning when we discussed the movies again I said a second time that I’d need his bank details. For a second time he didn’t agree and his body language suggested that he was not going to accept the money. I told him thank you and that I’d need to make lots of yummy meals for him to make up for it. I sent a message to my friends to let them know how generous he was being so that they could thank him on Friday night.

I thought to myself a couple of times on Wednesday and Thursday that now that he’d become more thoughtful that I didn’t have anything to complain about. It was such a relief! – things could really work out between us and I could potentially be really happy by his side.

On Thursday night, he wanted to see me again. He had called me on Wednesday night and gave me three options to choose from: option A, pub choir; option B, Christmas light display at the city gardens; or option C, whatever I wanted to do. I thanked him for option C but chose option B.

The Christmas lights were beautiful. We held hands the whole time and even bumped into some of his work colleagues who called out his name. He held my hand whilst we were talking. After the lights we went for dinner. We picked somewhere nice together and he paid for our meal. I dropped him at his car and we kissed each other goodnight. Friday we would see each other again for Star Wars.

The next morning was when things got interesting….in a bad way. I logged into Facey to post in my birthday group event a final post with important information. Karate Kid sends through a private message…..

“Mr Karate Kid. Bank details xxxxxx xxxxx. It’s 19 dollars each”

KK again 20 seconds later: “And Good morning”

I took immediate offense. It wasn’t about the money, it was the principle. He was going to shout us?! We had talked about it….well, he sat quietly why I talked and made gross assumptions. But still! What had changed? And his message was so cold and abrupt. The other thing that really upset me was he had said that the tickets were 18.50 dollars….he was making profit off me.

Angry, I transferred 57 dollars immediately to his account and sent him the electronic receipt. He sent a messageback saying that I didn’t have to pay for myself…….oh really now? So why was he just going to sit back and let me fo it rather than insisting that I don’t pay a cent?

I was fuming. I sent him a message so that he would know that he was in deep trouble and why:

“Just so you know I am upset. I’m embarrassed because I told them that you’d so generously paid for them and they now think you’re the nicest guy in the world.

If I tell them the truth it’ll be so embarrassing. Also, I’m not allowing them to pay for themselves so I won’t be telling them either. I asked you twice to let me pay and you didn’t talk. You looked at me as if to say that you weren’t going to give me your bank details. You never agreed to letting me pay.

This is what I was talking about with not having natural provider instincts. You changed your mind. That’s okay, that’s who you are, just tell me rather than sending the bank details without a word. Is it because you resent how much you spent on dinner last night? I don’t know why or when you changed your mind.

I’m a self sufficient and independent woman who can look after herself. I don’t need a man to survive. None of us do. We can look after ourselves. That’s not the point though, KK.

You originally said the tickets were 18.50, too.”

He replied soon after: “Hi, dinner was good last night. There is nothingabout it. My mind didn’t change. I think there is some confusion. I will talk to you in person in regards to this.”

I was even less impressed with his response… I let him know:

We won’t be able to talk for a while as I’m with friends all weekend.

I remember saying to you the second time that I’d have to cook lots to make up for you being so generous. You stayed silent. I did all the talking and went off your body language. I only told them what I believed and wanted them to know who to thank because they were so grateful.

Don’t worry about it. Honestly. It’s awkward having to discuss it. I can afford it and will cover mine and their costs. Tonight I’ll cover all our costs too, just to save any potential confusion.”

And so Dear Diary, we are back to square one. I’ll fill you in on the rest soon… There’s certainly more to share….I kind of spit the dumny but there is also some unexpected collateral damage. I’ve got guests this weekend so need to look after them.

Anastasia xo

Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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