Comparing Apples with Oranges (if Men were Fruits, that is) – Entry 165

Dear Diary

Do you recall me worrying that there may be photos of Karate Kid with Plain Jane Peasant Maiden up on Facey the other night? You and I both know that there was no convincing reason to believe in my ludicrous fantasies. Karate Kid and I had discussed her and he made it clear that she was not a threat. I was well aware that it was my imagination feeding off my insecurities, but I had to be sure….please don’t judge me, but I actually did it – I checked his wall the next morning. I’m pleased to report that there was no new evidence of her on his profile and he was likely at home asleep on Thursday night – happy days.

On Friday morning, my uncertainty was put to rest about when I would see Karate Kid next and if he was upset with me. He sent a message at 6AM that read:

Looking forward to seeing you tonight *kiss*”

Diary! this is a major development!! Did you notice that he put ‘*kiss*’ at the end??? this is the FIRST time he has put an affectionate sign-off. He usually puts nothing, ‘…….’ or ‘:p’. Can you believe it? He really likes me! Yayyyyy! So happy! Do you think it’s because he hasn’t seen me in five days? maybe I should go away more often….haha….I’m actually serious. I wonder what other nice things he will start saying to me.

Friday night, Karate Kid came to visit me after he finished work. He pecked me on the lips when he arrived and then took me to dinner and a movie. It was so nice seeing him again and he’d often look at me and stare. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but I think it was a good thing. I did notice the ‘look’ a couple of times – the one where they look dreamily into your eyes and seem a bit zoned out because they are in another world. I am sure that the ‘look’ is as positive as it is intense.

On the Saturday, I made us a nice breakfast and then we went for a bike ride close to my place. He did much better this time. He managed to stay on the pathway 92% of the time and only fell off once. He even commented that he was feeling more confident on the bike. I did give him a few pointers at the start whilst trying not to be to patronising. I focused on teaching him theory behind how to use the breaks as I felt this was one of the most important things he could learn about cycling.

After the ride, we had a nap and then went for a splash around at a local swimming pool. Instead of doing laps we had races such as running, hoping, superman and ballerina. Karate Kid won most races which was disappointing. At the pool we also discussed the evening’s activities. The weather was being precarious and so we needed options. One backup option he suggested was absolutely not an option on that particular night. Karate Kid suggested mini putt putt…which was fine, but then he suggested it at a particular venue – which was not fine. You see, Dear Diary, he suggested the venue that my workplace was having our Christmas party at….I had RSVP’d as no as I thought I was going to be in Spain or anywhere else, haha. I had to come clean with Karate Kid and tell him that any other night would be okay, but that I could not be in the vicinity of that particular mini putt putt venue on that particular night. He seemed a bit disappointed but there were three reasons why I didn’t want to go: 1. I’m a private person and don’t want my work knowing about my private life. 2. My friend that tried to set me up with her partner’s friend would be there…..and I haven’t followed up with her that I won’t be going on a date with him again (I was going to wait until after my holiday to say that I was seeing someone…well, maybe say that…if I felt like it). And, 3. My boss is inappropriate and politically incorrect. If he saw me with Karate Kid he would take every opportunity he could to tell me not to get pregnant as he doesn’t want to have more staff go on maternity leave….yep, at least once a week he tells other female coworkers not go get pregnant. I find it very offensive and also hypocritical as he has two children of his own.

For that evening we took a chance with the weather and went to see people practice fire twirling. I invited one of my girl friends who is relatively new to the city to join us. Afterwards, we all went to a food stall market and got our own food and chatted. After dropping my friend home, Karate Kid asked me if she knew that we were dating. I said that she knew at the last board games session as I told her in case she noticed anything different between us. She was the last person that I’d told before deciding not to tell anyone else until he started to take some initiative.

On the Sunday, we woke up and weren’t sure what to do with the day. Karate Kid suggested that we go to a local zoo. The zoo was actually lots of fun. We got to feed and pat some of the animals. We also took lots of photos. He updated his profile picture on Facey on the drive home (I was driving). He picked one of him patting an animal. I felt a bit awkward as I wasn’t sure if he was considering putting a photo of both of us up. It was still early days and my family has no idea that he even exists.

When we got to my place, Karate Kid asked me to join him to go to Dance Teacher’s house party that night. I hadn’t received an invitation so didn’t feel comfortable going. There was also another major barrier to me going…..there was a hickey on my neck…..not happy at all about that, Diary. I’d gotten upset with Karate Kid a few months ago and told him not to do it again. He said that it didn’t look that obvious and that I shouldn’t care. I wasn’t going to be caught dead by friends with that on my neck. He didn’t quite understand why I was so upset and embarrassed by it, so I spelled it out to him why it is frowned upon in society to walk around with a hickey on your neck. He tried googling ways to fix them – even if they did work, I wouldn’t try them just to make a point that his actions have serious repercussions. He needed to learn that if I have a mark on my neck all our plans would be cancelled until it was gone.

Before he left for Dance Teacher’s party we had another more serious talk. It had been a few days since he said that he would holiday with me and each time we discussed it he’d find reasons why we shouldn’t do the suggested locations or activities. It was really frustrating as it killed the excitement. He was stressing about spending money too but the prices were standard which highlighted how little he travels. His resistance wore my enthusiasm down so much that I didn’t feel like doing anything with him. I thought to myself that maybe I should have just gone to Spain and then I wouldn’t have to deal with this situation.

Another thought that came to mind was how different it was dating him compared to other people. The emotional manipulator that I dated 18 months ago would splash his cash and take us to nice places. We once stayed at a romantic getaway which had cabins in trees overlooking mountain ranges. The cabins had a jacuzzi and also a kitchen so that you could cook romantic meals together. The food would be delivered to your cabin each day in picnic baskets. Another couple of times we went to a tropical resort and also fancy restaurants. I would be living the high life if I was still with him. I still often wear the pearls he gave me. He sure knew how to spoil a lady (and also how to start an argument and try to erode her confidence). Sometimes I have moments of worry that I might run into him or that he may contact me again. So far, I’ve been lucky and really hope that I’m lucky enough to never see him again.

Bear also had a great sense of adventure and didn’t mind spending a reasonable amount of money to go on an adventure. With Bear you were always guaranteed to have a great time. We went to Cuba, Australia, the Amazon and other parts of Perú. Even now he is still travelling all over the world. The postcard that he sent my parents last week was from Cambodia.

During our talk, Karate Kid tried to preempt any issues that I may essay-text him about in the next 48 hours (I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing….I like how he is being proactive….I don’t like how I look like the crazy one...). I told him that if we were going to do anything for a trip that we would have settled on something already – he hadn’t even booked in his leave yet! He told me that we didn’t have the luxury of time as it was very last minute (and who’s fault was that? He had over a month’s notice). I told him that I wasn’t excited about the trip anymore. I had been jumping out of my skin last week when he first said he’d join me and then became progressively less and less excited as I realised that he wasn’t keen. He had noticed the change and said he would take leave so that we could spend time together. I didn’t care by this point. I had decided that he didn’t want to do anything. He wasn’t willing to travel more than an hour and wasn’t willing to spend money which severely limited our options. I told him that he shouldn’t take any leave and that we could do something another time when we had time to prepare (Quietly, I knew this would be a difficult promise to keep as I likely wouldn’t have leave approved for a long time and also knew the price of traveling would never go down).

Eventually, we settled on a plan to call some places on Monday morning to confirm deals. He then went to Dance Teacher’s house party. At 11pm he sent a message saying: “I have told the others at DT’s party. They now know.” – pardon me? How interesting, I think he is really wanting to establish this relationship thing now. I’m so curious to know how they all reacted! This makes me feel a little awkward as I don’t like being the subject of gossip. Should he have consulted me first? Like when you’re having a baby. I mean, it’s our secret so we should both agree when to share it with the world. What else did he tell them?

Let’s have a look at some other updates:

Nice Guy has been extra chatty on Facey. He has been asking about my family and mentioned a time when during first year Uni days that we all went out eating together….I don’t recall this memory…maybe he has met my parents before and I just don’t remember it was that long ago. Nice Guy returned recently from a month of vacation. He likes travelling – why can’t Karate Kid like travelling too?

Mr Smooth I sent a message: “Girl, have you been dancing heaps? 😉 ” ….I don’t like being called girl. I think I’ll reply after a few days and ask him if he remembers my real name.

The Spaniard had sent a message. It had a internet image download of the men’s cologne that I said I liked when he asked my opinion. His message translated to: “Hola Anastasia. So that you can see that it’s important and that I listened to what you say to me I’ve purchased Davidoff 1 Million…..I love it’s scent and it makes me think of you…..😘😘”. Really? Olfactory association only works if you’ve smelt the scent at the time the memory is formed….and why did he download the image instead of taking a selfie next to his own cologne bottle? Did he actually buy it? I must admit that I was surprised to receive his message. I thought about him the other day and how he had been so nice to my Father and I when we were travelling. I also thought that I had made the right decision not to go to Spain again as it would have been hard not to see him and he felt like such a stranger now. I do sometimes wonder if he’s waiting patiently for me to return to Spain or if he’s planning to come to visit me some time.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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