Dear Diary
This weekend just past was pleasant. It did start a bit rocky with a poorly organised fireworks outing. I arrived to the city stressed from the bad traffic and road closures for the event. I hadn’t heard any more from Karate Kid since saying that I was on my way. I figured that he must still be at his workplace waiting for me so texted where I’d parked and started walking. Ten minutes later, and a block from his workplace, I receive a message from him that he was at a bakery close to where I’d parked….this didn’t help my stress levels. My foot was hurting from a blister forming from the poor choice in footwear that I’d made. Not happy. I sent one back saying that I was almost at his work but that I’d meet him at the bridge.
When Karate Kid found me I was in a bad mood. He gave me a hug hello and looked at me concerned. I found it hard to smile as I was stressed and bothered. He eventually grabbed my waist and I started to soften. We made our way through the crowds and found a prime position close to the river bank. The fireworks could be set off from platoons on the water. I enjoyed having his arm around me but was also curious to know what he’d do if a mutual friend saw us. To my knowledge, we did not cross paths with any mutual friends that night. We did however bump into three of his work colleagues. He had his arm around me each time but didn’t introduce me.
After the fireworks, we went to have dinner at a Korean restaurant. We had playful banter at the table whilst waiting for our meals. It was a quirky restaurant in that you were allowed to write on the walls. He wrote: “Anastasia kicked a man 😛 30/9/17“…..I may have swung myself of rails to change walking lanes to cross the bridge and accidentally kicked a man earlier that night….it was an innocent mistake, honestly. I wrote on the wall: “KK is a cuddly raccoon 30/9/2017″ he said he felt bad about writing his message after that. He then spotted a note and distinctive caricatures from 15/10/15 – it was from mutual friends who were a couple. How weird, right?
Karate Kid walked me to my car after and said he’d come to stay the night. This made me happy as I wanted to spend time with him. We went for a walk the next morning and had a nice breakfast together. We also cuddled and he left at lunchtime. We knew that we’d see each other at a dance party later that night.
Surprisingly, at the party was no other than Surf Guy. I hadn’t seen him in a long time. He had been sending me occasional invites on Facey to dance events that I never attended. After an hour he eventually asked me to dance and said that it was nice to see me. On a side note, when I checked Facey after the weekend he’d sent a message to say that I looked really nice at the party and that it was nice to see me again. Interesting.
Mr Friendly and Mr Shy Guy were also at the party. They were fun to dance with. The Lady’s Man from the Friday night birthday dance party was there. He came to ask me for a dance and we had a short conversation. I saw a face that I hadn’t seen in a long time, the Smiley American. He had seemed really interested in me a couple of months ago and I got the sense that he wanted to kiss me…but never saw him again. He did approach me at the party. I wasn’t going to go out of my way to say hello either. Dance Teacher said that I look stunning and seemed to have lost weight, I said it was probably from the gastro last week and laughed.
At the end of the party Karate Kid said that he’d walk me to my car. Mr Shy Guy was standing at the door and I wanted to wait until he had moved away so that he didn’t see me leave with Karate Kid. Unfortunately, he wasn’t going anywhere so I bit the bullet and said goodbye to him and then Karate Kid came to escort me out. I tried to look as casual as possible, but as we got outside Karate Kid put his arm around my waist….what was he doing? he usually waited until we were out of sight. But I kept cool. I mean, it wasn’t uncommon for Karate Kid to treat his female friends like that so it wasn’t out of the ordinary. At my car, he said that he’d go out with the rest of the dance group and that depending on the time they finished may or may not come to stay the night with me. I was deflated by this, but not surprised – was it all too good to be true?
I left my phone on volume when I got home and went to sleep. I consoled myself that I’d at least have a great night’s sleep and achieve a lot the next morning as he wouldn’t be there. An hour later I woke up to my phone ringing. Karate Kid asked if I was awake…um, I answered the phone didn’t I? haha. He then said he’d come to stay.
Now Diary, there are some things that need to be said after the weekend. I learned that Karate Kid has never been out of the Country and doesn’t have any strong desires to travel. This was confronting as I assumed that everyone would like to travel and that my partner would be my travel buddy. After hearing this I didn’t follow through with my plan to ask him if he’d like to go somewhere with me on my upcoming holiday (instead of going to Spain). Let’s be honest, it is still too early to be going on international trips together irrespective of how much I like him.
Another issue is that I think he has erectile dysfunction. It could be that, or performance anxiety. Over the weekend, only one out of four attempts to use a condom worked…if you know what I mean? It took me a little while to work out what has going on. I initially thought that he may just have a long recovery time. I then wondered if he was seeing someone else and wasn’t interested. After multiple failed attempts to revive the collapsed soldier, I then connected a few dots in my head and realised that it was likely a consequence of health conditions that he’d told me about and others that I suspected. On the bright side, on each occasion that he realised that I wasn’t satisfied he did try to rectify the situation. Despite this significant issue, I still feel attracted to Karate Kid and would pursue a serious relationship with him.
The next day we went for another walk and then to a board games event. We arrived separately and kept a friendly distance from each other in front of our friends. He looked at me a few times during the event and I tried to keep neutral and relaxed. It is such a weird experience going from being able to kiss and hug each other to avoiding contact and limiting interaction. I do wonder how long it will last for.
At the end of the party he hugged me goodbye and gave me a kiss on the cheek – like all our other friends. I haven’t heard from him since, Diary. I guess we did have a lot of quality time over the weekend and maybe he needs time to settle.
There was one red flag over the weekend. He brought up the topic of having difficulty sleeping. He wanted my advice. I told him that it was likely because of his use of electronic devices. He claimed that he needed to be available at a moments notice ‘just in case someone needed him‘. I called him out on this – what could possibly be so important that would require him to be available on social media in the middle of the night? Family would call his phone. He said that he couldn’t tell me. Red flag! red flag right there! for one, why can’t he tell me? as a couple we should be able to talk about anything….but hey, I’m not ready to tell him about The Spaniard, Bear or this blog….so I closed my mouth. I told him that if he was expecting to have to help someone that the should seek professional help. Once offs are okay as they aren’t anticipated, anything more than that is too much and people need to take responsibility for themselves. This is something that I’m filing away to discuss later.
Before I leave you, Diary. A quick update with the double date with my workmate, her partner and her partner’s friend who’s just moved here. Well, it was a public holiday on the Monday that we agreed to meet. Practically nothing was open, so we have postponed it. I have a feeling that it will never eventuate. I’m okay with this as it’s one less thing to complicate my life further at the moment.
Anastasia