A Whole Other Level Of Intimacy – Entry 130

Dear Diary

There were six ‘interests’ in my online dating account inbox half a day after signing up. I was still feeling resentful towards Karate Kid for not organising a date for us on the weekend.

Resentment turned into worry when I realised that my ‘haha. No spanks’ statement could have been misinterpreted. I signed into Facey and sent Karate Kid a message: “Hello KK. I hope that my message didn’t come across the wrong way. I meant no spanks as in “no spankies” not “no thanks”. I hope that you have a nice day.”

He didn’t reply to that message within a twelve hour period….not impressed. I was becoming more concerned that my newly implemented rules had sent him the wrong message over the weekend and he’d given up on me. This thought alarmed me as I wasn’t ready to lose him. Defeated, I decided to send a text message to raise the white flag of peace “Hello cuddly raccoon KK. Is everything okay? I have a feeling that I may have upset you…” what I was really saying in my head was: “Okay, I know that I’ve been a jerk over the weekend and sent mixed messages by trying to play hard to get…but I’m sorry, I do like you a lot and promise not to be a jerk again…I really thought that a small dose of medicine would make you pick up your game”. 

Fifteen minutes later he sends though a message: “Hey wabbit, everything is fine. Slightly busy. Talk to you tonight after class 🙂 ” This response was such a relief! He’d called my bluff. I thought to myself that maybe I’d sold myself short and should have pushed harder with the new rule enforcement seeing as he wasn’t actually upset with me…..too late now…..or maybe he had been upset and was pretending that everything was fine?

That night Karate Kid called me. It was a sweet conversation. He asked what I was doing the coming Saturday night. He asked if I’d like to go with him to watch the city’s annual fireworks with him. We could go to the top floor of his office building or go to find a grassy area to look up at the sky from. He started suggesting that other friends may have plans…then backtracked and said in a mumbled voice that it’d be nice if it was just the two of us star gazing.

There were two more points from our phone conversation that night. He mentioned how he had a lot of annual leave saved up and that his work wants him to take it….I thought to myself that we could go on a holiday together…or that he could use that for paternity leave….what?! did I just think that? – He also asked if I was free the next night to catch up after work. I hesitated as I expected him to lock things in well in advance, not the day before…but I relaxed and remembered how I thought I’d lost him because of my ‘rules’…also, he was organising a proper date for Saturday night. So I said yes. I then deactivated my online dating account.

So Diary, things took a change for the worst on Tuesday evening. I got home from work, showered and started making myself pretty for Karate Kid….but my stomach started to hurt and bloat. I figured it must have been gas….but it started getting worse. I laid down on my bed and hoped it’d pass before Karate Kid arrived. He sent through a message: “Starving!!! you had dinner yet?” I replied “not yet”…I didn’t particularly feel like eating at that point. He sent a message “Okay, I’ll come and pick you up”.

It was then that I realised that I didn’t have gas…it was likely food poisoning! or even gastro? Hmmm pretty sure it was from not putting my food in the fridge that day. Wanting to warn him I sent him a message: “KK, my tummy hurts :z I may have food poisoning. I’m okay to hang out still and always like seeing you. I’ll leave it up to you what you’d like to do” . My stomach cramps got even worse and I started to feel sick “…actually, it hurts a lot and I feel like being sick so maybe best if you keep a safe distance 😦 ” 

I didn’t hear from Karate Kid for 40 minutes. I wondered if he thought that I was fobbing him off and pretending to be sick. I wondered where he was and if he’d decided to drive to his home for the evening. I wanted him to knock on my door at any moment. Where was he? He sent a message: “feeling better?” and he knocked on my door.

Sulkily, I open the door and he gives me a hug. I ask if he’d like to eat anything as I remembered him saying that he was starving. He said no and joked that he might get sick if he ate my food. I was too uncomfortable to fight back. He ushered me to my room and laid on the bed next to me and rubbed my stomach. About 30 minutes later the vomiting started – it was disgusting. I had gone to get a drink of water in the kitchen and then projectile vomited into the sink. It was pure water and chunky vegetable bits from lunch that day. I gasped for air between each vomit and let the gastric juices run out my nose. Karate Kid stood sympathetically in the lounge room waiting for me to finish.

Distressed, he led me back to the bedroom and continued to rub my stomach. We continued to speak and he told me about how he was thinking of changing career….my thoughts were “but your secure desk job is perfect for fatherhood! I’m sure once we have children you’ll be so preoccupied with that that you won’t care what you’re doing!” yep, those were my thoughts – what had come over me? I then excused myself to oversee a bought of vomiting and diarrhoea in the bathroom.

On my return, he laughed that he could hear all the disturbing noises that I was making and began to mimic my vomiting sounds. It was pretty funny and did make me feel better. He rubbed my tummy again and we spoke about our childhood dogs. I told him to look at my Facey albums to find a photo of my childhood dog. He did but couldn’t find her. We got distracted with pictures of the respective parties we’d been to on the weekend. I then excused myself to projectile vomit into the bathroom sink.

On my return, I sat on the floor not wanting to get too close to Karate Kid as I was nothing short of disgusting. He smiled at me and said “Anastasia, my pristine perception of you is now gone” and mimicked my vomiting sounds. I laughed and rubbed his leg. He invited me back onto the bed and rubbed my stomach. He said that he’d stay until my housemate returned home. I apologised for being disgusting. I knew that we both wanted to kiss each other but it wasn’t worth the risk.

True to his word, he stayed until my housemate came home. Our fare well at the door was abruptly ended by me running to the bathroom to vomit again. For the rest of the night I would wake every 1 to 2 hours to purge – so, so disgusting. I wondered if Karate Kid seeing me in that state would make him feel less attracted to me? I found that I’d softened to him even more for his act of kindness and loyalty. Despite the rocky beginning, I knew from the start that he had it in him. To me, it was a bit thing just for him to be there with me whilst I was unwell.

The next day he sent a photo text “I found a picture of your dog….I can see the love in those eyes…. 🙂 “ this made me so happy. He’d been busy sifting through my photos just to find it. I was a bit surprised that he didn’t ask me how I was. I guess he didn’t know that I’d been up the rest of the night purging and called in sick to work that day.

🙂 she was a special doggie. Thank you again for yesterday. Your visit made me feel a lot better.”

Anastasia

Image: [Jana Gouthova] © 123RF.com

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