Unreasonable Expectations? – Entry 125

Dear Diary

It can be a burden to have high expectations of others. But in all honesty, I don’t think that my expectations are outlandish. On the weekend, Karate Kid asked me if I was free this coming Thursday to go to a Pub Choir night. A Pub Choir night is where you RSVP to the event beforehand and they send you the lyrics to a well-known song the morning of. You study the lyrics that day and then sing it all together at the pub. Apparently, it’s lots of fun. This Thursday, I was meant to get a spray tan for my upcoming performance. He asked me if I could move the appointment and I said maybe.

Now Diary, I don’t think it’s too much to expect that he’d touch base a bit sooner than the day before to check if I was going or not. I had given up on the idea of going as I figured he’d probably have asked a friend to go instead. I hadn’t told him, but I’d planned to cancel the spray tan anyway as I wanted to postpone the performance until I was better prepared. I’ve since been granted permission by the organiser to withdraw my act from the run of performances this coming Saturday.

Keep in my Dear Diary, I was already irritated because I hadn’t heard from Karate Kid since Monday morning’s text. Two days of no communication feels like a lifetime when you like someone. I was already battling an internal argument whether he was a good enough person for me (his past actions still make me weary) and considering if I should sign up to online dating to keep my options open whilst I was technically still single. The text I received on Wednesday morning put further fuel onto the fire:

Morning girl. Are you still getting a spray tan on Thursday night?”

…..I…..loath…..being….called….girl!! *ROAR!* what enraged me even further was that I’d told him that a fortnight ago and he said that he calls lots of female friends ‘girl’ – like seriously? how is that meant to make me feel special if he calls everyone that? that just makes me froth at the mouth. What happened to his name for me ‘snowflake’? I much prefer that. Not happy! I am really not happy! This situation was getting out of control and I needed to nip it in the bud. To me, calling me ‘girl’ is a sign of disrespect – if he wants to date me he needs to demonstrate to me common courtesy and kindness.

I thought of a few potential replies over the day: I don’t like when you call me girl – When you call me girl you’re treating me like a friend – If you call me girl I’m not coming on Thursday – Who is girl? you have the wrong number – Hey Asshole – etc

I settled with: “I think you may have the wrong number, this isn’t girl”. It seemed like an appropriate level of restrained passive-aggressiveness.

He replied “OK. Maybe something wrong with the lines….who is this?”

Loser, jerk-face, what the hell? just call me snowflake or Anastasia! I replied: “Not girl, haha” 

In the interim, I posted on my upcoming birthday event on Facey. I decided to go with hiring a function room with cocktails, canapes, 3 course meal and games. I posted that I’d subsidise the costs so that people would only need to contribute 60 each (which is a pretty sweet deal). I told them ‘sugar mama Anastasia will cover the rest 😉‘ . My friends commented that they liked the idea. Karate Kid then sends a message over Facey: “what is the real price?” so I tell him “That doesn’t matter” tisk, it’s my party and I’ll do what I want to. Just because he wants to go to the dance congress on that weekend instead of my party isn’t my problem.

He sends a message to my phone a bit later: “Maybe you’re sugar mama…I need to spank her…are you her?”

Alarmed, I reply: “Definitely not her lol”

That was two whole hours ago, Diary – my eye twitch is about to escalate into a full blown conniption – *ROAR!!* Who is this man to make me wait? Out of pride and stubbornness I’ll not volunteer the information that I’m free tomorrow night to go! I’ll go dancing instead and he can invite a friend of his to go (which he probably has done already and probably doesn’t even care if I can go or not!). And you know what Dear Diary? I’m considering being ‘busy’ on Saturday so I can’t help him with the barbecue that he volunteered for. He needs to start treating me like he’s dating me – not just like some ‘girl’ he knows.

I know I seem like a T-Rex stomping around and crushing defenseless flora but I’m really frustrated but his inability to meet my reasonable expectations.

In other news, Bear (ex-boyfriend from Peru) is happy to explore Madrid with me when I go to Spain. I was convinced at the start that he was just joking that he’d return my notebook from Spanish School…but I think he is dead serious. Considering I’m completely single and unattached I think it’s okay for me to hang out with him there. I’ll just tell The Spaniard exactly how it is – I’m meeting with a friend in Madrid who happens to be my ex (and please don’t come to join us there as that’d be awkward as).

I haven’t heard much from The Spaniard. I sent him a message the other day asking how he was and if things had settled down in Barcelona after the attacks. He said things are much calmer. I also sent him the video of my last performance and he said that he loved it to the point that it made him drool and wished he was there in person to watch it. No word since. Maybe I’m expecting too much of him, I mean, he is practically a perfect stranger.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] © 123RF.com

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