Troops Stand Down Until Further Instruction – Entry 117

Dear Diary

In retrospect, I should have gone with the cauldron of oil option as it is designed for close range attacks. Long range defenses such as archers with fire arrows and catapults with human sculls were futile options when the enemy is literally on your doorstep. Whoever was in-charge at the lookout tower wasn’t paying attention last night and will be dealt with accordingly. But in my defense, doesn’t ‘Let’s chat’  generally suggest over the phone?

Thankfully, I had enough time after work to eat and shower before I received a message from Karate Kid: “You awake?” I waited eight minutes before replying as I hadn’t finished typing an email. I replied with “Yes”. A minute later he replied “I’m outside” ……WHAT?! He was meant to be phoning me! I wasn’t prepared! I quickly sent a message “I’m in my pyjamas” so that he knew I was getting changed. I checked the front door, he wasn’t there yet. He sent a message back saying “In the side street” I wasn’t going to go outside so sent “Are you going to come in?”

Eventually, he arrived at my front door and I let him in. After a hug hello I told him that I thought he was calling and he said that one should never assume. He put his phone on the table in my bedroom to charge and then asked to use the bathroom. I quickly sent a message to my housemate to let her know we had an unexpected guest.

We sat in my room. Well, he was laying on my bed and I sat on a chair (pitch fork at the ready). The first item on his agenda was a dance flash mob that was coming up. He wanted me to be his dance partner. Now, I know that that sounds sweet and all, but flash mob training started 3 weeks ago and there are only two more training sessions left….it created unanswered questions in my mind. So, I asked them:

  • What happened to the first dance partner? (thinking it was Plain Jane peasant maiden) – allegedly, I was his first choice and he had been asked a couple of times but declined as wanted to ask me
  • Training started three weeks ago, why was he asking now? (still not convinced) – Because, he didn’t know why, he just didn’t get around to it.
  •  There are more women than men signed up for the flash mob, why don’t you ask one of them? (being practical now) – Because he doesn’t care and wanted to ask me first.

Hhmmm he seemed sincere. But, I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of parting with money for the flash mob training and to have to buy a T-shirt that I’d never wear again. I asked if I could have some time to think about it. He said it is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I still need time.

Whilst I made him a coffee he snooped around my room (this man has no shame). He found my checklist for the upcoming dance congress this weekend. I honestly thought that he was going, but apparently no. He had thought that I was staying in town for the weekend would be going to a mutual friends waffle-making party (which, believe me, is very tempting to attend). Funny thing too, he mentioned how he had gone to a impromptu games event organised last weekend close by to me. I hadn’t seen the invite until after the weekend so was oblivious that it was even on. I was starting to become very suspicious that he wanted to have reasons to see me more often.

I asked him if flash mob was the only thing on his agenda. He thought for a bit and then said he couldn’t remember and moved towards me to give me a hug. After a short embrace he smacked my bottom and said that that was the spank for leaving without saying goodbye on Sunday evening. Well played, that’s all I can say as I didn’t see it coming. We eventually got into a tickle fight as I joked that he knew he had to catch me if he wanted to say goodbye and that I also let him win the light saber match. He claims that he didn’t see me leave on Sunday as he was busy packing up. He also claims (falsely) that he let me win the light saber fight.

He brought up Mr Friendly (the one I went to university with). I don’t even remember how he weaved it in undetected. I feel that he’s threatened by him. Apparently, they have had coffee after one flash mob session last week….interesting. Karate Kid also says that he wants to corrupt him as he’s a nice guy. I told him he shouldn’t do that as Mr Friendly is one of the nicest and most genuine guys that I know. I think he was fishing to see how emotionally attached I was to Mr Friendly with his threats.

Karate Kid then kisses me on the cheek a few times, slowly getting closer to my lips. I don’t engage as I’m not convinced he’s reformed. I look him in the eye and whisper ‘Are you going to hurt me?’. He looks at me without saying anything and eventually a sneaky smile appears on his face. He asks if I’m free on Thursday – yes – well then, he’ll organise something.

Before leaving to drive his 45+ minutes home he showed me his drawing he did last week in a live art class….naked lady, hmmm…he then told me to get my artistic juices flowing for Thursday night. I told him that he wasn’t taking me to sketch naked people. He smiled at me and I repeated that he wouldn’t do it and it he did I would wait outside and keep myself busy.

Hmmmm. Not too sure, Dear Diary.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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