Dear Diary

This week was sobering in that it continued to reinforce my apathetic view to dating.

On Monday evening Karate Kid sent a message saying he was feeling sick. On Tuesday he suggested that I return the favour and make him soup. Tuesdays had unofficially become our meetup evening the past few weeks. I’d already made plans for Tuesday night. He then suggested Thursday – nope! I had grand plans to go out dancing. Even if I wasn’t, I didn’t feel like rewarding him for his lack of forward planning and expectation that I’d be freely available.

Despite the kisses with the Dreamy Colombian I hadn’t heard any more word from him. I was rather disappointed as I was hoping he’d start an electronic dialogue and that maybe we could organise something outside of the dance scene. We had agreed to see each other on Thursday evening out dancing, so I assumed he’d be out whether or not I went.

The Musician sent a message asking how my week had been. We had a short, friendly text conversation but no mention of another catch up. I imagine that he’s busy now that he has a regular pay check coming in!

The paid dating website hadn’t had much activity either. One man had ‘favourited’ me and two others had viewed my profile. We shall wait and see what comes. I would be happy with one or two regular clients just to get a modest second income stream.

Now, let’s get to the juicy stuff! Thursday night eventually arrives and I am rather excited as I have Friday off work! My plan was to go dancing at two different parties – the new funky party and then Old Faithful that has guaranteed a great night out for years. Still no word from the Dreamy Colombian but I’d come to accept that he probably was only interested in short term gains. Karate Kid sent a message saying he’d call so that we could work out a time to see each other again….I said I may not be close to my phone.

I wear one of my sleek black dresses, golden high heels, chandelier earrings and hair out and straightened – oh, and of course, the red lipstick. I had an amazing time at the first party. It’s still has a fresh and innocent vibe as regulars haven’t had a chance to establish a familiar ambiance yet. There was one man that I danced with who was extra fun. Let’s call him Mr Bling as he wears a shiny cubic zirconia earring in one ear and he also has a funky tattoo on one arm. He’s got a playful and seductive vibe about him. After a couple of dances he asks if I would like a drink. I explain that I don’t drink and dance. He offers me any beverage of my choice and before I can answer him another amazing song comes on that we just had to dance to. After two more songs I thank him for the dances and take a seat. I couldn’t afford to have another man in the mix to complicate my current situation. I really like the new party on offer and would like to keep the dance floor clean for me to enjoy it.

I was also slightly unsettled that Karate Kid may come out dancing to find me that night as he is a bit of a night owl. It would be very awkward if he came and Dreamy Colombian was also around. Fortunately, neither came to the first party. At 11pm the party ended and I still had a lot of energy. To Old Faithful it was! I brush my hair, touch up the makeup and smile into the small mirror of my car – yes, still hot to trot. No missed calls or messages from Karate Kid on my phone…

At the next party there was a line up outside. I’d never arrived so late at night before as I was usually leaving at that time. I didn’t like waiting, but found that it encouraged conversations with strangers (i.e. friends that you haven’t met yet) who were also waiting in line. I concluded that maybe waiting in queues for night clubs could be a healthy social experience. I wondered if the Dreamy Colombian was still there or if Karate Kid was inside.

After what felt like 20 minutes of being in the line I was finally inside. The energy inside was electric and I was so happy to be part of the party. After a few dances the Dreamy Colombian appeared on the side lines of where I was dancing. Between songs he came to say hello. He had been worried that I’d never come as it was getting late. He joked that I may have met a man at the other party. I explained that I was having a great time at the other party and needed to stay until the end. Anyway, we had a couple of dances and it was fun! Part way through the last dance I noticed that the Tardy Teacher had walked in!! This was a very unexpected occurrence as he never goes out to Old Faithful and usually isn’t out on a week night…but it is school holidays after all.

The Tardy Teacher approaches me for a dance and we have an amazing time. He had been at the casino with his friend earlier that night and had won $100. He had been drinking also and was in a great mood. He asks if I would like a drink and I explain to him that I don’t drink and dance. He explains how he usually goes to a bar before our usual Sunday night dance event and does his school marking whilst enjoying a beverage. He said that I should go sometime and that he’d gladly stop his marking to chat with me. Dreamy Colombian was watching me from the bar for part of this conversation. I really wanted to dance with him. I speak a little more with Tardy Teacher and then dance with someone else.

The Dreamy Colombian had been dancing with a couple of other ladies and then ended up at the bar near where I was dancing. At the end of a song, I eventually end up near him and he asks if I would like some water. As he goes to get me some water the Tardy Teacher comes over to me with a beer in hand to keep talking with me. At that same moment a man asks me to dance so I agreed and the Tardy Teacher said he’ll wait for me at the side….

That dance was a blessing as it bought me time, but it was also a suuuuuper awkward dance in that I felt bad disappearing on the Charming Colombian who had so kindly offered to get me water. That, and the Tardy Teacher was watching me dance and waiting for me to come back to the bar. Both were waiting for me and only standing a metre apart from each other. I really didn’t want the dance to end as I didn’t know who to talk to first or what to say!!

Eventually, the song did end and I casually walked towards the bar. I signalled to the Tardy Teacher that I was getting some water and then the Dreamy Colombian kindly handed me a glass. The Tardy Teacher then comes over to me as if he hadn’t noticed the Dreamy Colombian. I could tell that they were both looking at each other as if to say ‘who are you? And what are you doing near here?’ so I decide to be polite and introduce them to each other. This is a BAD situation!!  Two potentials should never meet! And never via me introducing them to each other!

The introduction does take some intensity out of the situation, though I felt that they weren’t ever going to be best friends. At least they may place nice? It was rather funny that I told Dreamy Colombian that the Tardy Teacher and I dance together a different style. The Tardy Teacher puffs up his chest as if to say ‘yes! I am closer to her than you are’ and then I tell the Tardy Teacher that I have known the Dreamy Colombian for maybe 10 years through a different style of dance. Dreamy Colombian instantly gains more confidence and agrees triumphantly. But this is what the pictures actually looks like: Me in the middle sipping on a glass of water (looking stunning of course)and both Dreamy Colombian and Tardy Teacher on either side with bodies angled at mine in a gently possessive way. The Tardy Teacher had his arm outstretched behind my back leaning on the bar and the Dreamy Colombian would touch the arm on my other side.

The conversation got more interesting as the Tardy Teacher asked Dreamy Colombian if I sang to him whilst we danced – yes. Stalemate. Tardy Teacher then announces that “Anastasia is the best dancer [where we usually dance at]”. I almost choke on my water with humility and turn to the Tardy Teacher “are you serious?” and he agrees without a hint of doubt. Too modest to accept the compliment I say that he can’t say such a thing. The Tardy Teacher then leans forward to Dreamy Colombian and says “Anastasia is the second best dancer” I giggle uncomfortably. He then asks the Dreamy Colombian if he’d learn our dance style and laughs at his unenthusiastic response.

As I’m desperately trying to find a way to end the awkward situation a man comes through the crowd of dancers and offers his hand to dance. Perfect!! Absolutely perfect timing! This particular man I usually avoid like the plague as he has cigarette breath and can be too friendly. That night I didn’t care!! He pulls me out from my snug position between the two men and we go into the centre of the dance floor and dance. Both Dreamy Colombian and Tardy Teacher are watching me. They don’t talk. They just stand side-by-side watching me and the other dancers.

When I go back to the bar Dreamy Colombian comes to snap me up for a dance. As we dance he asks if I was going to go to the Colombian festival on the 15^th July that he had invited me to. Not wanting to commit despite having absolutely no plans on that day, I said I may go only if I wasn’t working.  As we dance he tells me how amazing my Spanish is and that he’ll only speak to me in Spanish (smart, very smart man! He was listening when I said that I said that I love speaking in Spanish). It was as if to say that he was more relevant than Tardy Teacher. Tardy Teacher was at the bar looking at me longingly as we danced. He had a look in his eye of desire and I’d sometimes give him a smile as I was dancing past – he really shouldn’t drink! After a few dances with Dreamy Colombian I start to walk back toward the bar and without missing a beat Tardy Teacher asks me to dance. We have a few amazing dances and Dreamy Colombian eventually finds some other women to dance with. I am somewhat relieved as I didn’t want the same situation as before to occur.

As I dance with Tardy Teacher my hair brushes through his stubble. I apologise but he says it’s nothing to worry about and that he loves long hair. He then says that he loves it when I sing to him when we dance together. He continues to give me love eyes as we dance. I’m sure that Dreamy Colombian could see them as well. I then start to worry about how I’ll leave the party as both may offer to walk me to my car. I regretted allowing Dreamy Colombian to kiss me on Sunday night as he technically had the upper hand (not that Tardy Teacher needed to know this). I just had to wait it out until I could come up with a plan. Potentially, I could wait until one was busy dancing and then announcement my departure and disappear with a cute wave and smile goodbye. Not ideal, but still an option.

Eventually, at close to 1.45am whilst we are dancing the Tardy Teacher announces that he should go home. I thank him for the dances and he disappears. No kiss, no offer to stay longer to walk me to my car and no mention of catching up some time. I was a little disappointed but also relieved.

Dreamy Colombian eventually finds me and we have a few dances. At 2.10am I say that it’s time for me to leave and he squeezes in a few more dances before walking me back to my car with his arm around my waist. At my car he asks about what I’m doing on my day off. We kiss for a bit and then more passionately. As he kisses my neck I can see the tag on the inside of his shirt – Ralph Lauren size small, 170/… This man knows how to dress himself. He then says ‘so, do we go to your house or mine?’ whoa! So soon!? I guess he is Latino. I smile at him sweetly and explain that I need to know someone better before giving myself to them. I’m practically Latina, but also have my own cultural norms. I thank him for understanding of my cultural beliefs. He was disappointed but accepting. He says that we will see each other again out dancing and maybe could do something some time. It was a bit vague but I agreed happily to the thought of an actual date with this man. With one last kiss we part ways.

In my car, there was a message on my phone waiting for me from Karate Kid “Are you still dancing? I’m about to head home” that was sent at midnight. I didn’t think it was appropriate to text him at 2.30am to say that I had been out dancing. I decided that I’d send him a “Happy Friday” text in the morning.

Anastasia

Image: [Jana Gouthova] 123RF.com