Is He Playing Games? – Entry 71

Dear Diary

It’s been four days since the kiss with Karate Kid. I was very anxious after it as I wasn’t sure if he’d follow through and contact me to invite me out on a date. Two days after the kiss he pulled through by contacting me on Facey and asking if I was going to the movies with the rest of the group that evening. He said he wanted to see my smile.

Now, two problems with this picture: 1. He has my number and didn’t use it. 2. Why are we catching up with just the two of us?

I told him that I was likely to be going and left it at that. He had not invited me on the group event – it was his friend (the quiet one from dance that I’ve mentioned a couple of times). I was fretting for most of the day with this in mind wondering if we had something special or just a ‘thing’. Maybe it was best not to go? But I really wanted to see the movie…and the other big argument is that I should still feel comfortable to go out as a group with or without him there whether we have something special or not. So I decided I’d dust off my shoulders and go and have fun.

AT the cinema we were a group of fourteen. Karate Kid sat next to me and the quite guy sat on my other side (as he came late). During the movie Karate Kid nudged me a few times when I tried to cover my face in the suspenseful bits. It was pretty pathetic, but that’s how I watch movies. At the end of the movie the quiet guy asked me a few  friendly questions and Karate Kid sat quietly.

On our way out of the cinema Karate Kid walked beside me and said he wanted to take me to see a horror movie. I said I’d never go. He and most of the group went to the bathroom. Myself and the quiet guy waited outside and spoke. I was pretty sure that he liked me but didn’t want to lead him on, but still wanted to be nice – such a hard balance. From out of the bathroom walked Dance Teacher, who’d also been at the movie. He walked up to me with arms open to hug me and said that I looked lovely. Again, I tried to keep the situation neutral with a mixture of distance and pleasantness. The group then decided to get Mexican for dinner so I joined.

After dinner was the walk to the cars. On the way Dance Teacher asked me how I’d been and if I’d been on any dates recently. I was a bit embarrassed and emphasized that I had not been on any dates recently and that I’m too busy and not patient enough to date. I was silently hoping that Karate Kid wasn’t overhearing this conversation.

At the traffic lights Dance Teacher said he was going a different way to me so said to the group to make sure someone walked me to my car. I was hoping that Karate Kid would, but he wanted to get coffee with the quiet guy. Karate Kid then said to one of the couples to walk me to my car…they were parked in a different car park and I was out of their way. Indignant, I said goodbye to them all and started walking to my car park myself.

Who are these people delegating to others to escort me like I’m some sort of burden? It’s a privilege to walk me to my car and here are people throwing the opportunity away. As I walked I said to myself that I didn’t need a man. I was disappointed in myself for letting Karate Kid kiss me as he certainly wasn’t acting like a gentleman. I’m also embarrassed that I let him do it – how could I have been so stupid?

As I ranted internally about being better off alone I heard running from behind me. Alarmed, I turned around to see Karate Kid and the quiet guy running towards me. I was angry that they’d decided to walk me on a whim. As they got closer I asked what they were doing ‘aren’t you going to get coffee? you really should. I’ll be alright. I do this all the time‘. My tactic didn’t work, they insisted on walking me. I was still feeling indignant so did my best to seem unfazed and pleasant. At my car I hugged them both and suggested that they get their coffee (that was obviously more important than me).

To be honest, I’m still upset about the situation two days on. Karate Kid did end up sending a message the following day: ‘*poke* *poke* *poke*‘ and then eventually ‘what’s your schedule look like for the next fortnight?‘ I was honest with my reply and told him it was cluttered, but that that was normal for me. This morning he replied with ‘Lol…I feel like spanking you right now…

Are you serious? What is this? I just don’t understand.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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