It’s been a little while since I last wrote. I got my wish – I finally lost interest in dating. This is a good thing as it’s given me time to reflect. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and online research and this is what I have surmised; true dating is rare in the modern world. Attitudes, culture and technology all are playing a role in its demise.
Women are brainwashed by television and cinematography to chase men. I challenge you to watch any movie or television show and listen to how women speak to men. Why is it the woman always asking the man out? Holding his hand first? Or kissing him first? Why is the woman always convincing the man that she is the one?
Modern technology makes us available in an instant and I’ve noticed that men really struggle with planning and giving sufficient notice of plans. Like seriously, how hard is it to think a few days in advance of time and place? And then, to go one step further and lock it in by calling her? I honestly think that women are making it too easy for men by organising their own catch ups so men are losing these skills.
The third problem is that the word ‘date’ has so much responsibility and expectation attached to it. Both men and women are intimidated by the label ‘date’ in the early days as it could mean that you’re officially an item, but you’re not ready to commit! So ‘dinner’ ‘netflix and chill’ ‘catch up’ ‘coffee’ and ‘hang out’ are used instead. But this just muddies the water. Are we just friends? More than friends? Dating? Girlfriend and boyfriend? What does it all mean? At what point do you call it dating? First kiss, ‘the talk’, arbitrary time period? By the time you’ve figured it out you’ve gone on so many average outings that the guy doesn’t even have to try swooning you with nice dinner, flowers and surprises.
As a romantic at heart, I want to be swooned by a man. I want to feel desired and like I’m being pursued (to an appropriate degree of course – suffocation is too much). So this is my dilemma – I want and expect to be dated, but men don’t ‘date’ women these days. So, now that I understand the crux of the problem where to from here?….