How to Kill a Mocking Bird – Entry 4

Dear Diary

This weekend has been somewhat intense but refreshing. I decided that the time had come to end the prolonged courtship with the ‘name-caller’. The phone call went better than expected to be honest. I think the previous attempts to break it off had conditioned him into accepting this final attempt.

The course of the conversation ebbed and flowed as it normally did – I wasn’t happy – He was happy – I wasn’t happy – He has invested a lot into us – I wasn’t happy – He was happy – We argue too much – They aren’t arguments but discussions – I wasn’t happy – Him reminding me I’ll never meet anyone like him – I don’t accept being called names – Him defending calling me names – I wasn’t happy – Him again reminding me that I’ll never find anyone and would regret the decision – Me getting sick and tired by this point and delivered the final blow: ‘You bring out the worst in me. I choose not to live like that. I am not happy with how things are and they will never change. I hope you can understand that. I have given up trying’. Check mate. He retreated with this, his will finally broken. I was relieved and wished him luck with his future. There’s still some anxiety on the inside that he may attempt to contact me to win me back or turn up to where I go out dancing….guess I’ll just be prepared.

On a positive note – I’ve signed up to online dating! So far, so good.

One match is with a man named George who seems really nice. He’s suggested that we meet up one evening next week and I’ve agreed. He has dark features, in one photo poses next to what looks like his Grandmother (I won’t comment about the photo on the date in case it is his Mother….). Either way, he must be a decent family guy if he’s put that photo up.

Another match is with an Englishman who claims to be ‘Sound as a pound’ as his profile title….not sure how I feel about that with Brexit – Maybe a sensitive topic? He seems like a bit of a dork in his photos. I’m a sucker for nice guys so am interested to see where it leads.

There’s another guy,  Marcelo the Latino, who has struck up a conversation with me. He seems like the librarian type – understated and allergic to drama.

Things should be interesting in the upcoming week!


Image: [Jana Gouthova] ©

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