The Chat – Entry 177

Dear Diary

I should not be in this situation at all. This is a product of Karate Kid’s bizarre approach to courtship. I’m waiting for Shy Guy to call so that we can have ‘the chat’ that he suggested on new year’s day.

I’ve deducted that the conversation could go one of two ways: the first, that he professes his undying love for me and tries to convince me to leave Karate Kid for him. Or the second (and less dramatic), that he confronts me about whether I am dating Karate Kid and tells me that giving me this illusive gift is no longer appropriate (I really want to know what it is!).

In all honesty, I am perfectly fine with not accepting the gift, I actually think it is better if I don’t because the prolonged drum roll for it could have made the drums catch on fire. I’ve already decided upon my manuscript over the phone to him. In summary, I will say:

Yes, he was correct in thinking that the attraction was reciprocal. Things have recently changed in that Karate Kid asked to date me. Shy Guy took too long and there’s nothing that can be done about the situation. 

I would like to tell him the truth because that is what I would appreciate in the same situation. He isn’t insane, I was genuinely interested in him, he just took too long. My heart does go out to him because he is very shy and I would like for him to meet someone to be happy with.

Like I said at the start, I would not even be in this situation if Karate Kid was doing his man-job correctly. He should be declaring to the world that we are seeing each other so that there is no hint of doubt in any man’s eye – because that’s just what men do.


 

I had a chat with one of my friends on the phone today. They think that it’s now time for Karate Kid to be introducing me to his family…I think my friend is right, but my rules are that I cannot suggest it. It needs to be natural – uninfluenced – completely his idea. The reality of the situation is that this could take another few months. I’ll need to look back on the Entry 153 – The Silent Contract and calculate the D-Days for these milestones…..[calculating]…….hmmm it was only the 1st November 2017, but that was already 2 months ago already! That means by Easter 2018 I will need to have met his family. He will need to discuss marriage with me before November 2018 and there needs to be a ring on my finger by Easter 2019….hmmmmm. The other thing is that I am meant to be having 10 weeks of annual leave over Easter and may not be in the Country….so technically, he should introduce me to them before I go in March.

I think we all know the reality of the situation that it probably won’t happen for a very long time…and I don’t have time to donate to just any man. I mean, he cancelled the board games event on Tuesday night. It was so condescending that they didn’t think I’d be good enough – what sort of excuse is that? Is he ashamed to introduce me to the close people in his life? Also, where did he get the idea that I’d struggle with the game anyway? I am better at everything compared to Karate Kid (bar martial arts, wrestling, being an idiot and video games). Diary, just look back at any of the entries when we have done competitive activities (such as mini putt putt, bowling, cycling, swimming and ice skating) – I leave him behind in a plume of dust every time.

I haven’t yet told my family about him. As much as I’d like to introduce him to them I cannot. He needs to introduce me to Mumma Bear first because that signifies that he has serious and noble intentions. Until that time, I will not be getting my parent’s hopes up about more Grandchildren. Just having his sister ‘like’ me on Facey is not enough. At least they know about me, that’s a start. He only has 10 weeks….10 weeks….I don’t think he is capable of doing that, Diary…..If you think back though, we have been awkwardly dating since June 2017…..which means I should have met his family by now if he did have noble intentions…..the truth can be painful to accept, Dear Diary, please be patient with me, I’m slowly finding my way out of the fog of denial.

Phone is ringing! it’s Shy Guy! will report back soon.


 

Okay, Diary, I’m back from the chat. It unraveled how I didn’t expect it to, but when I think about it was obviously going to happen.

Shy Guy called me at 7.40PM, ten minutes after when I said I would be free. His phone reception was quite bad as he was using Bluetooth through his car. I couldn’t really hear what he was saying but we agreed to meet to chat.

He asked me where I’d like to meet. He had suggested my place but I didn’t feel it appropriate seeing as I was dating Karate Kid. I was in my pyjamas too so told Shy Guy that I’d need 30 minutes to get ready and that we could meet in the shopping centre close to my place.

Just today, I have been feeling that I’m coming down with a cold (likely the one that Karate Kid and my work colleagues have had the past week). I got ready quickly and put on mascara to look less like one of the walking dead. I didn’t want to put too much effort in, but I also didn’t want to look like a mess either.

When I arrived at the car park I let him know that I was there. He sent me a message back with where he was and I slowly went to meet him. I was feeling cold, shivering and had a headache – did I have the flu? I figured that it was a good excuse to cut things short after we had the chat.

He was waiting for me outside a coffee shop. We hugged each other hello and he asked me if I’d eaten….I had and I also didn’t want this to turn into a impromptu date. He hadn’t eaten though, and it was late. I suggested a hot beverage and maybe some small snacks. He said he was happy with whatever I wanted, so I picked the nearby cafe.

We sat down and he ordered fries to snack on and a fruit smoothie (interesting combination). I had a green tea to sooth my throat and sampled some of his fries. We spoke for about an hour about general getting-to-know-you stuff. He told me about his working history, which video games he likes, why he likes his current job and other random things. He didn’t mention Karate Kid or the present the whole time. I was a bit worried that maybe he hadn’t noticed and would try to ask me out (why couldn’t Karate Kid just man up and claim me like any other male would?!).

At the end, I suggested that it was time to go as I needed rest to recover from my head cold. I handed him money to help pay for my green tea and the chips. He took it but then gave it back to me at the cash register (something Karate Kid likely wouldn’t have done).

We walked back to our cars and were parked surprisingly close together despite the shopping centre being over 1 kilometer long. At the car, he finally gave me the illusive gift! It was a big box, definitely not jewelry. I asked if I should unwrap it then and he said yes. It was strawberry scented body creams! a very sweet gift idea. I thanked him and hugged him.

After the present, he spilled the beans. He tenderly danced around the topic with long-winded story that went something like:

Years ago, I met Karate Kid and XX friend during my studies. We played arcade games together blah, blah, blah. Serendipitously, I bumped into them one night in the city and they invited me to coffee before they were going out dancing. 

During coffee, a stunning blonde bombshell came up to my friend, XX, and hugged him hello. I was shocked that my geeky friend knew her. She joined us for coffee and was very smiley towards me. They all then convinced me to try dancing and so I did that night.

I thought that the stunning blonde bombshell was interested in me and so perused her. But it turned out that she wasn’t. 

Shy Guy then looked at me and said that he noticed something between Karate Kid and I which made it awkward giving me the present. He wasn’t sure if we were definitely seeing each other or not. He then paused.

As I started to answer one of the motorised shopping trolley collectors went passed and drowned out my voice. We had to wait for him to pass. I said to Shy Guy something similar to the manuscript that I’d mentally prepared earlier. I told him that he wasn’t imagining things and that on the dance scene it’s hard to know if someone is interested in you because everyone is so nice. The motorised shopping trolley collector went past again and drowned out my speech. We waited, and then I continued. I said that the only way for a lady to know is to wait for the man to ask her out. I insinuated that Karate Kid asked me out first….I then trailed off on my own tangent that we were seeing each other casually and that it is really hard to know what exactly is happening. I said to Shy Guy: “You understand, right? you can’t even tell that we are seeing each other.” I stopped myself from going any further.

I gave Shy Guy another hug and thanked him for the present and the lovely evening. He seemed okay which was great. I feel that I did the right thing. I would have wanted someone to be respectful, upfront and honest with me too if I was divulging my feelings. I told him that we would see each other at whatever the next event was and then walked to my car.


 

At home now, well, I feel even more uncertain about things with Karate Kid. He hasn’t introduced me to his family yet. This is a bad sign as he should be wanting to show me off and be excited about a future together. He hasn’t even texted me today to say hi or see how my day was (not that he usually does anyway).

I also received a message from a girlfriend who is at the start of a relationship. I am so pleased for her. This man seems head-over-heels for her. He texts her every day to see how she is and ask her what she’s doing. He also texts her after they have spent time together to tell her how beautiful she is and that he wished he could have stayed longer……*sigh*

Let’s change topic briefly: Job situation – no word back about the Asia job. Fingers crossed that I hear something by the end of January. I’ve been thinking about what I would want vs. actually do if offered the job:

What I would want is for Karate Kid to ask me to marry him so that we could be engaged whilst I was away. He could come to visit me on extended leave occasionally until my contract ended. I’d then move back home and have a healthy deposit for a home.

What will likely happen is me breaking up with him because I haven’t met his family and I wouldn’t trust him with other women whilst I was away – I don’t feel secure enough. Irrespective of my feelings being justified or not, my mental health would be compromised because he doesn’t make me feel secure enough. In all honesty, if I got the job I could disappear overseas and then come back and no one would even know that I had ever been in a relationship with him (I guess that’s a bonus).

Anastasia

 

IMAGE: [JANA GOUTHOVA] ©123RF.COM

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