Dear Diary

I need to tell you the rest of what happened after New Year’s Eve. But I need you to keep in mind that Karate Kid and I only had 2 hours sleep (this disclaimer is so that I can only be held partially responsible for my actions).

When we returned from the failed attempt of a new year morning sunrise at the lookout, I made us breakfast. It was delicious and we spoke about how well Nice Guy and my newly single friend were getting along the night before. He barely left her side and it looked like they were really good friends…if not, seeing each other.

Karate Kid put a message on our group chat with Nice Guy and my newly single friend. His message was “Is anyone interested in the city marathon in August?”. He already knew that my newly single friend liked running and would almost certainly be going. She replied back almost immediately to say yes…..this upset me so much and I immediately shut down.

The reasons why I was upset were because:

• He was going out of his way to spend time with my newly single friend.
• Marathon training meant that they could jog and talk to one another for extended periods of time
• I knew that he liked her from years ago because she told me and warned me about how friendly he was being with The Model at the Zombie Escape the other month
• He has also offered to help her move into her new place on the chat last week (he should have let Nice Guy do this! fortunately, she said no…but still, he isn’t throwing himself at me to help me with anything….)
• In summary, he was chasing her and being more of a gentleman to her than he ever was to me at the start.

So, my shut-down was justified. I could hardly speak. Eventually, he figured out that I was upset and tried to get me to talk. He asked many yes-or-no questions to get my head to shake or nod to find out what he had done wrong. I was so upset I just couldn’t talk to him. I wouldn’t let him touch me either.

Eventually, I told him why I was upset (not as explicitly as above). I admitted that I was feeling insecure and that this was unusual for me because I’d never been in a relationship that I didn’t feel valued or special. I told him that he didn’t make me feel secure.

When he heard this he hugged me and then said that this was not true and that we could organise more things together. He suggested a lot of things. He asked me to lock in two dates that I’d go as his plus-one to (a friend’s birthday dinner and another friend’s child’s first birthday party). These were steps in the right direction and I started to feel better.

He also told me that his sister had Facebook-stalked me and liked some photos of us together….I already knew this (and reported it to you earlier when it happened). But I pretended to look surprised. I wondered if his other family members knew about me.

After my meltdown, Karate Kid suggested that we go to see a movie. He let me choose between three. We went despite being ridiculously tired. He paid for the tickets and I paid for our lunch beforehand (I offered because I was still feeling that I needed to exert my independence).

When he left my place later that day he said that he’d be in contact the next day with details about board games with his close friends the next night – this was a major thing, Diary! these were long term friends and a privilege to meet.

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The next day, I actually had the day off work. I went to the shopping centre to look at the post-Christmas sales. I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did bump into The Millionaire at the top of the escalators. He was talking with someone but stopped to greet me with a hug. He said that he’d be coming back to dance soon. I said that I wouldn’t hold them up any longer and said that it was nice to see him again……he’s since sent a message on Facey. I haven’t opened it yet, but the first line suggests catching up. Diary, this is the one who could currently be seeing someone and who is open to open relationships. But, he is also great to have conversations with and I always enjoyed our talks as I’d see the world from another perspective…..

 

Later that day, just before Karate Kid finished work, he sent me a message. It said that board games was cancelled, that he’d explain later and that we could still see something. I had mixed emotions about this. I was disappointed because it was an important milestone that was being delayed again (was it because they didn’t approve of me and didn’t want to meet me?). He did redeem himself by wanting to spend the evening with me so I said yes.

He arrived at my place soon after and I made us dinner with what I had left in the fridge (I wasn’t expecting to cook that night). The reason he gave for the board games being cancelled as vague and in a nutshell was because they all didn’t think that I’d be a strong enough component….seriously? that’s a bit condescending, isn’t it?

He suggested that we go ice skating at a place close by to my place instead. Diary, this seems like a really nice idea, but it didn’t make me feel special. Do you remember me telling you about the classified ‘Project KK’ file I made on my computer the other month? it contains photographic evidence of him with ex-female interests that I extracted from his Facey profile. Well, there are THREE different photos of him with THREE different women on THREE different occasions ice skating. They are either holding hands or kissing in the photos….ice-skating isn’t a special recreational activity, Diary.

What irritated me more was that these women are proudly displayed on his profile and any photos taken that night of us would never be…..Diary, what’s wrong here?

I agreed to go ice-skating with him and we did have fun. I was a little wobbly at the start as I hadn’t skated in over 2 years. I soon got the hang of it. Karate Kid, on the other hand, was far from graceful the whole time. But we had fun.

That night, Karate Kid didn’t stay over. He instead went home so that he could rest to recover from his head cold for work the next day. It wasn’t until the next morning that I discovered that he still had my driver’s license in his wallet. I’d given it to him to carry in case we needed it to hire out the ice skates. I sent him a message to tell him and he said that he’d come to drop it off after work that day.

I didn’t reply straight away because I was looking forward to spending the night to myself as we’d seen each other each day the past five days. I thought that I could drive into the city after work to get my license and then stay to cycle or walk. He’d then be able to go and do his own thing…..the only thing is, at work my phone suddenly stopped working. It said that there was no SIM card in the phone which has never happened before.

I used a friend’s phone to text him a message to let him know about the situation. I told him where I’d be after work to fix my phone and also what time I should be at my place (in the event that the phone wasn’t able to be fixed). Fortunately, all it required was for the SIM card to be swapped to a new one. The lady at the shop said that it was something to do with the network upgrades.

I sent Karate Kid a message to let him know that I was back online. I then went to the shops to get food in case he wanted dinner that night – he did. I made us a subtle-tasting rice dish with crispy pork belly. It was pretty tasty!

He did have the nerve to accuse me of orchestrating leaving my license in his wallet – how rude! I said that that wasn’t the case and that he was equally at fault as he should have remembered too – perhaps, was it he who deliberately forgot? (highly likely not, but it was fun accusing him back). It’ll be the last time that I let him mind my license when we go out. Rude. He really had no idea that I wanted that evening to myself so that I could exercise and relax (and also write a diary entry about him haha).

He didn’t stay for too long after dinner. I was okay with him leaving as it was six days in a row that we’d seen each other and I really wanted me-time. After he left, I started writing the next diary entry…..and then a phone call flashed up on my phone – it was Shy Guy! *gulp* I didn’t answer as it was 10.30PM and I didn’t feel like awkward confrontation.

Shy Guy sent a message soon after that read: “Hi I guess you’re asleep or busy…raincheck!‘

I replied the next morning with: “Good morning SG. I should be free to talk this evening after work. Hope you have a nice day.”

He sent a message in the mid-afternoon: “Hi I hope you’re having a good day 🙂 Okay let’s chat then, when do you finish? I finish at 5 roughly”.

At 5PM, I sent a message: “I should be able to talk after 7:30PM :)” I really wanted some time to myself to go for a walk (that I missed out on the day before) and also to wash my hair.

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Other updates for you, Dear Diary:

The Snowboarder from the New Year’s Eve party has sent a friend request on Facey. I waited a day before accepting it….Karate Kid should be way more obvious and make it clear to other men that I’m meant to be taken. This shouldn’t be my responsibility – I should even have to worry about dealing with it.

The Spaniard sent a message also. He said “Hola Anastasia. I still didn’t get my present that I asked for on my letter to Santa….will you be coming back?”

I didn’t have much sympathy for him seeing as he’d hardly made an attempt to have a proper conversation with me or get to know me since I left Spain. He’d also said that he’d come to visit me the other week but still hasn’t done anything about it. I sent him a message saying: “I still don’t know”.

My plan is to not agree to him coming if he does eventually declare dates for a trip (I think it’s a safe bet at the moment to say that he’ll never come). If he does escalate things between us I’ll just tell him that I’ve met someone and that it isn’t appropriate for me to see him romantically – that all I can now offer is friendship. That day will likely never come.

Anastasia

 

IMAGE: [JANA GOUTHOVA] 123RF.COM