Dear Diary

I hope that you’re enjoying the festive season. Little bits and pieces have been happening since my birthday.

Boxing Day was Karate Kid’s birthday. He spent the day with his family. In the afternoon he sent me a photo of his birthday cake that his family had surprised him with. It was really impressive.

At 8:18PM, he sent another message: “What are you doing at home now? are you having an early night?”

I thought that this was really sweet of him to be wanting to see me on his birthday. I sent back a message: “I’m working on my book tonight – so close to finishing it!”

He then replied: “Hahaha is that a no…I shouldn’t come over. Hahaha ok”

Five minutes later I reply “Naww I would love to see you but it’s getting late and I’m on early shift tomorrow. Maybe I could make you a nice dinner tomorrow night? I am on late shift Thursday so will be able to sleep in 🙂 xo”

The last time that he came over late I was so tired for work the next day. I couldn’t risk it again, he needed to be more considerate and plan better.

An hour later he still hadn’t replied. I went from thinking he was so sweet wanting to see me to being angry that he was only wanting a booty call! If I had said yes to him coming over he would have replied immediately. I was not happy with him at all. I’d even asked him a month before if I should switch my shift on Boxing Day so that we could do something together and he declined. I deserve so much more than being a booty call! I was glad that I had initially looked out for my best interests and said that I needed sleep that night.

It took me a while before I could get to sleep. I was so angry that Karate Kid had ignored my offer of a nice dinner as well. It was his birthday after all so I didn’t want to confront him about his behaviour and tarnish his special day. Just before bed, I went on to Facey and a notification came up that he and three other friends were interested in a dance event the next evening…..that must be why he didn’t want to see me the next night! he mustn’t know how to tell me that he already had plans….I decided to make it easier for him and so sent:

“Just on FB, it says you’re going to XX party tomorrow. That’s fine 🙂 hope you enjoy it. We can celebrate your bday another time. Night xo”

Even though the message didn’t show it, I was really hurt. I was also upset that we likely wouldn’t see each other for a few more days.

An hour later he replied: “Haha I don’t have this event on my FB…I don’t even remember selecting yes….are you just delaying time as you don’t know what to cook? :p  Yes, let’s celebrate tomorrow :)”

I did read his message when it popped up on my phone but I was too hurt to respond. He really had no idea how upset I was.

Surprisingly, the next morning I woke up feeling better. I thought that it was probably for the best that I hadn’t had started an argument the night before as he was in such a good mood with his birthday celebrations.

He was also correct in his message….I had no idea what to prepare and more time would be ideal. I was thinking of making a few different flavours of sushi but that could be very time intensive and I wasn’t ready to take the risk on such a special occasion like his birthday.

I thought about my options over breakfast and then an idea came to me. I sent him an early morning reply: “Good morning snuggly, cuddly raccoon. I should have everything ready by 6.30PM. Wishing you a nice day xo”

The idea was a little risky in that it was probably more than what I should have done for him considering that the relationship is still in it’s early phases. I was peaking early, but it was also a once-a-year event and he had gone out of his way to make my birthday special. In all honesty, the effort that he put in for my birthday was commendable and not his usual style at all. Flowers, romantic dinner, quality time and a shiney necklace…..he really did put in effort.

After work I rushed to the grocery store to get the extra things that I’d need to make the surprise a success. Roast chicken, roast pork, hummus, dates, grapes, strawberries, cheeses and fresh bread. I then rushed home and started all the preparations……

You see, Dear Diary, my grand plan was to turn the living area into an Arabic Princess’ private quarters. I used my plethora of silk scarves to decorate the furniture in the room and pulled out the sofa to make it look like a Sultan’s day bed. The food was set up in mini banquet style.

There were still more details to be added to make the evening a success. I found some soft Arabic music to play in the background and then dressed myself in a belly dance costume that I happened to have handy.

When Karate Kid knocked on the door he was in a little bit of shock when I answered dressed in costume. He laughed not knowing what to say. I asked him to come in and he went to sit at the kitchen table. I told him that his seat was the day bed and invited him to sit.

At the start, he wasn’t quite sure how to act. This surprised me as I thought that he’d lap up the attention. After feeding him some grapes and cheese he started to relax. I served him a little of everything from the mini banquet as he lay on the day bed. We spoke about each others’ days. He had been having a really nice weekend celebrating his birthday with his family. It was nice to see him so happy and relaxed.

I then asked him if he was ready for the performance. I changed the music to a song that I have liked for a long time and belly danced for him as best I could. He enjoyed the show and at the end I gave him a kiss and then started to massage him. He was asleep by the time I made it to his feet so I must have done an okay job. I gently woke him up and wished him a happy birthday with a warm smile on my face. I said that we had two options – play chess or go for a walk along the waterside. He thought for a moment and then chose the walk. I got changed out of costume and into exercise clothes.

On the walk, I felt a bit distant. I wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong. Maybe it was because I had never heard him say how important I was to him or what things about me he liked. Maybe also because he hadn’t followed up with me about the housewarming party or board games events with his close friends that he wanted to invite me to….maybe he’d changed his mind and didn’t know how to uninvite me? or maybe I wasn’t welcome and he didn’t want to hurt me with the truth? Dating Karate Kid is a bizarre experience in that he doesn’t say what should be said.

He could tell that I was feeling distant and tried some small talk. He was talking about how nice it’d be to live on the water, have a hammock and be able to go walking whenever he liked. I wasn’t really invested in the conversation, I was too busy trying to work out if things would ever work out between us. Eventually, the topic of his friend’s housewarming party on Friday came up. He asked if I still wanted to go. I felt immediate relief. I said yes, but that I was on late shift so may not make it depending on how late it would go to. He said that he would check with his friend the next day and get back to me.

That night he got up a couple of times to cough in another room. The next morning he woke up sick. I wondered if it was from the evening walk in the chilled night air that caused it….

Because his throat was sore I made him humble toast for breakfast. I made myself a fruit smoothie and eggs on toast. During breakfast, I showed him two things. One was a deal that I’d stumbled across – 2-for-1 to China for 9 or 11 week tours in 2018. He had said that he wanted to go to China and I also hadn’t been yet. He said that he’d think about it during his time off in the coming week.

The second thing I showed him was my book. I hadn’t told you about it yet, sorry Dear Diary. It’s because I wasn’t sure if I would be anonymous for it as well or use my real name. I’ve decided to go anonymous so I can tell you about it now 🙂 it’s dating advice for men. Karate Kid has known about it for a few months now but I haven’t let him see any of the content. I did that morning though and he read all 70 pages of the draft.

When I was in the kitchen preparing the toast he said to me “You look really nice today. Your hair looks nice too.” I looked at him surprised with what he was saying and then gushed a little. He then went on to say “I like women with long hair”…….I realised that he was teasing me and using what I’d written in the book. He came over to hug me and I pushed him away, hit him on the bottom, crossed my arms and called him a poo. I’d used him as one of the examples on how not to give a compliment. The other week he had said to me “I like women with long hair” when he was trying to give me a compliment – fail, epic fail.

He laughed a lot whilst reading the book. He said that he agreed with some things and not with other things. I said that I didn’t care if he agreed or not, it was a woman’s perspective and that’s why men are so bad at dating these days because they don’t care to see things from the woman’s perspective. He said that if I gave him a copy of the book he’d make notes so I could improve it…..hmmmm, no thanks. I’m a strong, independent woman and will do it on my own. I don’t want him polluting my intellectual property with his chauvinistic propaganda.

One day, Dear Diary, I do plan to tell Karate Kid about this blog. I’ve thought about it a few times and think that I’d have to do it whilst we were engaged and not after we were married. This situation may never manifest so until then it’ll be our secret. I may need to tell him irrespectively though, especially if I’ll be using Anastasia Anonymous as the Author name for the book. It’ll likely take over a year to edit and publish anyway, so hopefully by then it’ll be a safe time to tell him. I don’t have to link the book to this blog either, so only you all would know about it until I’m ready to tell him.

Anyway, later that day he sent a message to say that my newly single friend had created a group chat on Facey with him, Nice Guy and myself….she wanted to organise a games night house warming in her new place some time in January. This was such good news! Karate Kid called me and we discussed how things would work on the night – should we go early and leave Nice Guy there so that they could have some time getting to know each other? Or, should we stay the whole time so that he’d be forced to ask her out on a proper date if he really wanted to get to know her better? Karate Kid joked about sitting between them on the night…. I said that that would not be happening.

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On Friday, Karate Kid was still sick. During the day he sent a message:

“Going to have a nap now. Not sure how I’m going to feel afterwards. Also unsure if my friend’s housewarming will go past 8pm….I don’t want you to waste your Friday night waiting for me….so if you have something else on or want to organise something, do it. xo”

I had already done my make up and chosen a nice outfit to wear to work that day so I could meet with him as soon as my shift finished. I was disappointed but understood the situation. It was probably best that we didn’t see each other if he was sick and he really needed the rest to be better in time for New Years Eve.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to his message. I figured that he may have been using some of the material from my book because he was sounding way more considerate than usual…..or was it coincidence? Either way, I didn’t respond to his message and instead waited until after my shift just incase Plan A was still on.

It wasn’t still on. After my shift Karate Kid sent another message: “The house party is pretty much finished. I didn’t go, I just stayed at home in bed”.

I still wasn’t sure if he wanted to see me that night. I didn’t want to look desperate either. He probably needed to rest, anyway…. so I sent a neutral message:

“That’s no good that you were too sick to go. I’m sure you’ll get a chance to celebrate with them when you’re better.”

I didn’t want to assume that I’d be invited either. I technically hadn’t met anyone significant in his life yet. All the chances that I’d had to meet his close friends and work colleagues had fallen through by me not being available (some by choice to make a point).

He later replied: “Haha not too fussed….I just wanted to check out the new place and bring you along.  I’ve been home the last two days in bed….I’m going crazy!”

The part about wanting to bring me along did make me feel special. I think that he is finally at the point of wanting to introduce me to some of the significant people in his life and include me in things.

Thirty minutes later I replied: “Crazy? Crazy raccoon? hmmm maybe we need some medicine to help hehe”

An hour and a half later he replied “Hahaha are you awake?”

I was, but it was late at night and I didn’t want him getting into the habit of inviting himself over late at night. If he wanted to see me he’d have to give me more notice and come at a time that wouldn’t mean I’d be up late at night.

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In other news – I saw on my bank account that Shy Guy has transferred me money for the birthday party. I feel pretty bad about this because I thought he was the worst and that he wouldn’t end up giving me the money as he didn’t go. I wonder if Karate Kid approaching him about it had anything to do with it. Either way, I’ll thank him soon, maybe via Facey messenger or maybe in person at the New Years dance party.

 

The Spaniard has sent a couple of benign messages in the past few days:

On Christmas day he sent me a link to Minions singing a Christmas song:

 

Not wanting a surprise phone call, I waited until the next day to reply:

“Jajajajajaja los minions son muy graciosos! Jaja gracias Spaniard.
Espero que tú y tu familia están disfrutando la navidad 😊🐣🌈🎊🎉🎈🌲🌟🎅🏼Translates to: hahahah the minions are hilarious! thanks Spaniard. I hope that you and your family are enjoying Christmas.

A couple of days later….

TS: “Buenos días Anastasia, que sepas que te he pedido para Reyes…..👌 Translates to: “Good morning Anastasia, so that you know I have asked for you for Kings”…..I had no idea what he was talking about, it was obviously a Spanish expression that I hadn’t heard of before.

Me: “Hola Spaniard 🙂 jaja ?para Reyes? No entiendo” Translates to: Hi Spaniard 🙂 haha for Kings? I don’t understand.

TS: “Que en mí carta de Reyes he puesto que me traigan a Anastasia de regalo, o sea, a tí.” Translates to: That in my King’s letter I’ve put that they bring me Anastasia as a gift, in other words, you.

Me: “Jaja Cómo la carta a Papá Noel? Jaja” Translates to: Haha Like the letter to Father Christmas? haha

Two days later he sends a random: “Hooola Anastasia….😘”

I’ll wait until tomorrow to reply to him. His messages lack substance, but they never really did since the beginning.

Anastasia xo

 

IMAGE: [JANA GOUTHOVA] 123RF.COM