Testing the Water – Entry 152

Dear Diary

Since Tuesday, there have been a few updates to share with you. Even though Karate Kid and I are officially dating now, I’m cautious about running into it blindly. It is early days still and you never know what might happen – he’s allowed to change his mind at any time, as am I. Let’s just say that I feel that we are far from couple profile pictures or updating our relationship statuses on Facey.

Despite this, I’m technically off the market – so it’s no longer appropriate for me to go on dates or psuedo-dates with with other men. But, I’m also not ready to commit myself to Karate Kid completely as I need more time to get to know him and make sure that I’m happy with him as a life partner. We have only peeled back a few more layers in the last week and have many more left. My reservations also come from his sloth-paced momentum.


On Friday, Shy Guy sent me a message: “Coming to the movies tomorrow?” Karate Kid had already invited me and said that he would have sent me through an invitation if I was still friends with him on Facey (he then told me to accept his friend request when I was online next). I hadn’t been online for almost a week so appreciated this friendly prompt from Shy Guy, otherwise I may have missed out if Karate Kid hadn’t told me about it. I was convinced that Shy Guy must have had no idea that Karate Kid and I were seeing each other, otherwise he wouldn’t be sending me text messages. This translated to Karate Kid not telling people that we were an item. If he wasn’t ready to break the news then I certainly wasn’t going to go around and publicly advertise it either. So I decided to give Shy Guy a hint: “Haha yes, thank you SG 🙂 I’m really looking forward to it. KK did mention it the other day.” 

On Saturday, things started to feel more real between Karate Kid and I when I had to be open and honest with some of my friends. One called me to come and visit her in hospital to meet her firstborn child. The hospital was conveniently near the cinemas that we were going to. I was thrilled and figured that I could squeeze in a visit before the movie. I then realised that I wanted Karate Kid to be there too and that I needed to tell my friend that we were seeing each other……moment of truth, could I verbalise it? I did. I broke the news to her and she was overjoyed that we were dating. The next moment of truth was asking Karate Kid if he’d had his whooping cough vaccination and if he was okay to visit with me…..he said yes. Then came the penny drop….he was likely going to want to stay the night on Saturday and my religious housemate would be home….I asked her at lunchtime if she would be okay with Karate Kid staying the night now that we were officially seeing each other…..she said ‘sure’ and thanked me for asking her.

Just before Karate Kid was due to arrive to pick me up for the movies I had another penny drop – I should tell some of my good friends who’d I’d be seeing the next day at a boardgames event that I was seeing Karate Kid as they may notice a closeness between us. So, I called three of my friends and told them that it was still early days, but if they noticed something between Karate Kid and I that they weren’t going crazy. I figured that this was the grownup thing to do. It did make things feel more official.

When Karate Kid arrived at my place we had some food before cuddling for a bit until we left for the city. I made us a little late by putting on makeup (Side note, this was absolutely essential as I needed to look stunning in case Plain Jane Peasant Maiden was at the group outing – no way was I letting her outshine me!). On the way, I used my phone to book parking for us between the hospital and cinemas….but I didn’t realise that the booking defaulted to 5PM-8PM….we arrived at 4.45PM which meant that our code didn’t work….it took me a little while to figure this out and by the time I had, Karate Kid had already put in the code 10 times and there were three cars behind us waiting to enter the carpark….oopsies. What compounded the situation was that Karate Kid was worried that we wouldn’t have time to fit in a baby visit and also make it on time to the movies….he dealt with the stress really well! He didn’t lose his temper at me. He just went quiet…which may have been worse, as you never know what quiet people are thinking….I had a fair idea of what he was thinking….

We visited my friend but only had 15 minutes with her. Karate Kid was pretty quiet the whole time. I wondered if he was freaking out internally. We pardoned ourselves and then walked hand in hand to the cinemas. I was a little anxious to know how people would react to seeing us together. I wondered if he would want to make it obvious to people that we were together or if he was going to go back to pretending that we weren’t. I decided to leave the ball in his court. He chose to act neutral. I was okay with this as I was not looking forward to playing Twenty Questions with curious friends. There were about twenty six of us all together so it would have been an intense experience.

Karate Kid sat next to me in the cinema and also at dinner afterwards. Shy Guy educated me more on Marvel characters and tales at dessert. I really felt that he had no clue that Karate Kid and I were seeing each other….if Karate Kid wasn’t going to make it clear then that wasn’t my problem I decided.

Karate Kid did stay the night on Saturday. He told me that he had met with his Doctor and that he was clear of any sexually transmitted diseases. I told him that on the coming Wednesday I would be receiving a contraceptive depot injection. I really am not looking forward to it, I just don’t like the idea of playing with my hormone levels. I’ve also heard stories of women being on contraception for years and then having difficulty regaining fertility for months to years after stopping. Karate Kid was really excited by this news and is counting down the days until I’m chemically sterilised.

Of note – Karate Kid did not bring up the topic of holidaying together. I did at one point say to him: “Do you know what would be nice? If we went on holidays together some time”. He didn’t say anything in response so I take it that he has no intention of joining me on my upcoming unplanned holiday. That’s okay, I’ve got plenty of things I can do that don’t require him. I just don’t understand why he would ask me when my holidays were and what my plans are if he wasn’t wanting to join me? Did he want to initially and then change his mind? Did I say or do something wrong? Did I just read into his messages too far at the start?


For the boardgames event on Sunday, Karate Kid helped me to decorate cupcakes. My vision was to make cupcakes decorated like Mexican Day of the Dead skulls. His were pass-worthy….well, they looked like a child had done them….and, I didn’t have much of a choice as once the food coloured icing sugar went on there was no going back. He did seek validation for his artwork from me but noticed the insincerity with my ‘They’re great’. I laughed and tried to make him feel better about his sad cupcakes but it just made it worse.

At the boardgames, he didn’t admit to helping me decorate them. He did touch my arm a few times during the event but never sat next to me. One of the friends that I told about us dating came up to us and said ‘Congratulations you two!’. Karate Kid’s eyes nearly came out of their sockets and he froze. I looked at my friend and put my finger to my mouth to signal to him to be quiet. Karate Kid said ‘It’s okay’ but his body language said otherwise so I felt it best to keep acting neutral. I was starting to have doubts about whether he wanted to share with anyone that we were seeing each other.

At the end of the boardgames Karate Kid hugged me goodbye like everyone one else. He said that he’d see me out dancing later on Sunday night. I didn’t really want to go out dancing, but a few people had asked me on Saturday if I was going out and I felt that maybe it was time to start dancing again. I did end up going dancing, but for only an hour and then left. Karate Kid was not there as he was at his Mother’s birthday dinner. He must have arrived an hour after I left as he sent a message: “You left already?”


In other news, The Spaniard has sent two messages in the past few days. One was a meme with two puppies sleeping. It read: “I’m not going to wish you goodnight…..as I’ll see you in my dreams”. Talk is cheap buddy. I told him that the puppies were cute and that the words were nice. A few days later he sent through a picture of him in Halloween costume. There was also someone else in the picture in a scream mask. Their eyes looked female. I told him that he looked scary.

The Musician sent a message back on Tuesday mentioning that we should catch up soon….I still haven’t replied. I do like his company and wouldn’t mind going to a walk and chat with him like we usually do. Seeing as he moves much slower than Karate Kid I don’t think I’d be at risk of him asking me out or trying to kiss me. I am tempted to meet with him because I enjoy his company…I wonder if he’d want to be friends? It’s almost been a week, I’m sure that he’ll spare me a few more days to decide what I’m going to do.

To note, I saw a message in my Facey inbox from someone I met on an undisclosed dating application maybe three years ago. I’ve never met this man inperson. He did call me once for a phone conversation and tried to organise a meeting (we were living in different cities). He never came the day he said he would so I stopped talking with him. About six months after that he said that he had liked the sound of my voice and still wanted to meet me. I ignored this message as he blew his chance the first time. He then moved back to New York and I hadn’t heard from him again….until now.


Image: [Jana Gouthova] © 123RF.com

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