Dear Diary
I had to turn on my phone yesterday to get the address of the show that I was going to see with my friend. A message came through from Karate Kid.
I reluctantly read it as I didn’t know what words awaited me. I was mindful that I was wearing mascara and about to pick up my friend so braced myself to not cry if it contained something horrible. My friend is also married to Karate Kid’s best friend so I couldn’t let on that something was wrong so as to avoid questioning – for all I knew she had no idea about anything and I was happy to keep it that way.
“Hi Anastasia,
I firstly prefer face2face chat or phone call as i find texting too impersonally and lots of meaning lost.
Secondly, maybe i made a mistake and i wasn’t clear enough.
I already said let’s date, let’s explore. i’m fine with telling the world. I’m not sure where you got this idea from about ppl being annoyed that they know I’m seeing someone. I did mention i dont like broadcasting my life on fb.
I haven’t tagged those pub choir photos because you don’t like ppl to see these photos on your timeline and i had been sleeping all night Wednesday after work.
I’m always excited to see you. Don’t i make time for you? Come over even though i am tired? Come over when i know you are sick? Don’t i care for you?
In terms of messenger, I’m always online. Its an old habbit of mine. And i do talk to my friends at randoms times.
I want to see you tonight if you can. I want to dance with you. Otherwise ill come and pick you up for dinner before zombies tomorrow. Add me back on fb, so i can tag those photos and vids.
However, if you don’t want any of that. I will accepted that. I will move on.”
Way to much sass for my liking. What’s with ‘firstly’ and ‘secondly’? And why is he avoiding elaborating on anything with substance? It’s all superficial. I also detest ultimatums! – that I need to go dancing and see him otherwise he’ll move on? What’s the rush to force me to choose if he’s meant to be vested in pursuing something with me? He’s happy just to throw it away that easily? I am the one that said that I was moving on first! Also, is he in denial? I’m not that special to him. He doesn’t appreciate me otherwise we wouldn’t be in this situation. I feel that he’s just saying what he thinks is the correct thing to say to preserve his integrity.
I have tried so hard to kill this thing, Diary. I think it’s on it’s last legs gasping for air…but one cannot be sure as I’ve been wrong every time until now! It’s like a cat with nine lives! Seeing as kerosene and the praying mantis didn’t do the trick I’ll have to resort to the final bow in my quiver. Get ready Karate Kid – you want the truth? you can’t handle the truth! Time to strap you into a chair and force some medicine down your throat:
“Hi KK
Face to face is not an option with you because you don’t want to talk when we are together. It’s like getting blood from a stone. When I ask you questions you have been avoiding answering them.
I mean, when you said you need to be online all night and I asked what could be so important your response was ‘I can’t tell you why’. What am I meant to think when you won’t give me a sincere reply?
How am I meant to know what you want when you won’t share with me. All I wanted was for you to open up and communicate what you were thinking, wanting and feeling with us.
I still don’t know and I’ve tried to ask you many times. I couldn’t even say if we were dating casually or seriously, girlfriend and boyfriend or what. I don’t know what I am to you. I don’t know who else you’re seeing and if you’re wanting to keep your options open.
I should know the answers to these questions by now and not have to squeeze them out of you.”
It irritates me thoroughly how men have this convenient selective amnesia syndrome. Why is it that they can never remember the pivotal things they say? And if they do, they reword it to be something with a completely different meaning which won’t get them into trouble?
It was actually 1AM when I sent the message on return home after the show. I turned off my phone after sending that message as I didn’t want any unwelcome visitors overnight. None came.
Today he is going to a zombie escape game that my friend and I have organised a group outing for. I was hoping that he’d decide not to go, or just let go of me in a peaceful fashion. I am a little anxious about how it will go as I don’t think he’s going to miss it for the world (simply because he wants to do it, not because I’m there). At least I’ll have the good company of friends there so will feel comfortable.
Let’s take a breath and follow up on how other casualties fared from my wrath rampage yesterday….
Lady’s Man replied: “Boo! …you’re no fun 😛 Catch around the dance floor!” – he shall receive no reply.
The Spaniard sent through five angry face emojies: 😡😡😡😡😡 followed by: “Okay, but don’t postpone it too late.” …I would have hoped for sad faces or something of the sort. I’ve never received an angry face emoji in my life until now….hold on, Shy Guy did earlier in the week when he said he was mad that I didn’t go out dancing…. but I’ve never received five in a row before! Hmmm might let him cool down before replying. What’s there to be so angry about? He doesn’t even message me anymore.
Bear sent: “Hola buns!!! I’m well, my friends and I just arrived in Hong Kong 🎉🎉 no worries buns not a problem… we always have to look after our wallets 😉 I’ll try to send the notebook when I get back 😉” Now that’s the type of comprehension I like to see! I sent him a reply: “Wooooo! Time to enjoy! Thanks for understanding Bear”
So, overall, most survived the carnage!
Do you remember my friend that moved up recently to a neighbouring city? The one that gave me the concert tickets last weekend? Well, he sent a message on Friday afternoon:
“Hey Anastasia, I’m going to be coming up to your city tonight and tomorrow. If you are free, let me know. Tomorrow I will be going to the pharmacist futures forum and then catching up with my sister for lunch and then free after that. If you are free, I’d love to catch up. XX”
I replied: “Hello XX. I could do tomorrow breakfast if it’s not cutting things too fine for you and the forum?”
Friend: “Hey Anastasia, probably is a bit too fine as I will be driving up from the coast. If you are free in the afternoon, I’d love to catch up. Otherwise, I’m sure we can organize a time in the future.”
Me: “That’s fair enough. Tomorrow afternoon I’m doing some sort of virtual reality game and then off to a dinner and show afterwards. I’m also sure that we can find another time soon 🙂”
…..We all know now that I could have seen him in the afternoon had I realised that the virtual reality game was actually on in the morning haha. Hindsight is 20-20…and so is revising your calendar haha. Do you think that I need to create a code name for this friend?
Before time gets away, I have two more updates from last week. I bumped into The Wing Man in the hallway. He came over to say hello and blocked my path. He asked me where I’d been as he hadn’t seen me in ages…..he knew fully well that I worked in a segregated department. He was also standing in my personal bubble. I inched my way to the side to give myself a path to slowly escape. Fortunately, one of his managers interrupted us and I said goodbye and continued on my path.
The second update was that when I went out dancing on Thursday night I saw The Dreamy Colombian. He looked as beautiful as ever. He asked me to dance and told me that he had been busy with work. He was wearing the same size S, red, collared Ralph Lauren shirt he wore the night he walked me to my car, kissed me asked if he was coming to my place or if I was going to his. I made sure not to say goodbye to him when I left the party.
Anastasia
The Contemporary Princess 