Dear Diary

Seeing as I have plenty of time to prepare for the inevitable, I thought it prudent to strategize for all possible scenarios.

Logic tells me that I will not hear from Karate Kid until at least Monday or Tuesday. He knows that I am busy this weekend and he will likely want time to prepare himself for ‘the conversation’. I truly wonder if he even knows what he will say at this point or if it’s still in the formulation process. As for when we will actually meet next week, I cannot say. I am doing my best to keep evenings open so that we can talk…but part of me says just to make plans and he can work around me.

So here is the preliminary game plan in order of what I’m expecting:

• If he says that he’d like to continue seeing me casually:  I will likely take immense offense to this. I will maintain my poise and grace and tell him I will be seeing other people as I’m looking for something more serious. Whether I ever see him again or not will be my prerogative.

• If he says he’s enjoyed spending time with me but can’t see it going any further as he doesn’t know what he wants: I will try not to cry. I’ll ask him to not contact me again nor ask me to dance. I’ll also remove him from Facey and block his number.

• If he says that he wants to take things to the next level: I’ll ask him what that means. Key points that’d need clarification are – are we exclusive? what is he looking for longer term? what can we expect of the other? I will explain that social media is out of the question for me. He can do what he likes with his profile, but mine will not have a relationship status update nor a barrage of photos of the two of us (my family have no idea he even exists! they’d need to be prepared before they see photos of Facey). We’d also need to discuss whether or not I keep my surname when we get married…..joking!! haha, we are way off that conversation!

Speaking of Facey, I haven’t logged back in to check for a reply from Mr Lady’s Man. To his invitation last week I eventually sent a message “Hi XX. Sure, that sounds nice”. It was sweet and simple without elaborating on how complicated things are currently. I reasoned that if I string things out as much as possible I won’t spook myself and will also have more time to figure out what I want. A true gentleman will wait for the lady, after all.

My work friend caught me in the lunch room on Friday. She pinned me down for a date to meet her partner’s friend. The evening of Sunday 15th October will be the double date. I’m curious to know how interested this guy is in meeting me. My friend has been doing all the mediating between us and it seems like he hasn’t had to lift a finger (myself either….but I’m the lady so that’s okay).

Still no word from The Spaniard. It’s been three weeks since we last spoke. Is he waiting for me to contact him? surely not. Surely, he has moved on and doesn’t care if I come to Barcelona or not. Part of me does wonder if he’s assuming all is still well and good and that he is planning something for each weekend….

This weekend will involve little to no dancing. On Friday, I didn’t have the energy to go to Dance Teacher’s house party. To be honest, I’m irritated at him for trying to convince everyone to go to a dance congress in a different city on the weekend of my birthday party. He keeps mentioning it on my event page and ‘liked’ someone’s message that they could no longer come to my party because they had decided to go to the congress. What does he have to gain from it? I have no idea. I just find it extremely rude and poor form. I decided to instead have a quiet night at home and enjoyed every moment of it.

The next morning, I received a text message from Karate Kid: “Bad! You didn’t turn up to Dance Teacher’s party! :P”  I was surprised by this message as Karate Kid didn’t even know that it was on when I mentioned it the other night. I assumed that he wasn’t invited and wouldn’t be going. Would knowing that he was going to the party have changed my decision the night before? Nope. Keeping my distance until we have ‘the conversation’ is the healthiest thing I can do for myself at the moment, because, let’s face it Diary, I feel like I’m a complete mess. Besides, I have alibis for the whole weekend so I can make myself scarce. There are parties on both Saturday and Sunday night this weekend that I could technically go to….but my desire to avoid Karate Kid is stronger than my desire to dance at the moment.

Wishing you a wonderful weekend, Dear Diary.

Anastasia

Image: [Jana Gouthova] 123RF.com