Dear Diary
Let’s touch off from the night before last. The Friday night party was fun. The only part that dampened my fun was Karate Kid insisting on dancing with me.
I’d done so well avoiding him for the first part of the night. When I was sitting to the side he came out of nowhere, blindsiding me. Despite my body language saying no, no, no, he still asked. As we danced he told me that I was invited to breakfast and lunch and a BBQ. My eyes were teary and I shook my head no. He told me I had to go and I stubbornly continued to shake my head. He asked why and I said it was because I didn’t want to. He pulled me in to dance close so that he could hug me to make me feel better. After three dances he sat me back down and told me I was going to breakfast the next morning. I just looked at him knowing if I said no he’d keep trying to convince me. I wasn’t going to commit and he could see it in my eyes. Fortunately, someone interrupted the moment.
I kept myself distracted for the rest of the party and at about 2am felt that the coast was clear for me to disappear. Such bad, bad luck that at the elevator to go to my hotel room Karate Kid exited on his way back to the party. He quickly did a U-turn and escorted me to my room. Such bad timing! I didn’t want him to know where I was staying. I didn’t allow him to stay too long in the room. I reminded him that there was a party waiting in the function room and that he had just had a can of V drink in preparation. He got the point and I ushered him out.
The next morning he sent a message telling me to get ready for breakfast. No way in hell was I going. I waited a good half hour then replied that I had plenty of food and that I hoped he enjoyed the breakfast. He tried calling twice after that and sent: “bring your food here and enjoy it with us”…I wasn’t ready to answer. I waited 20 minutes and then replied that I wouldn’t be ready in time…he tried calling again…nope, I knew better than to pick up. He gave up after that.
At a dance class during the day I sat to the side with The Dance Teacher. I wasn’t in the right headspace for class. He wasn’t his usual cheery self either. When I said that I planned to drive back to our home city for a party that night pre the one at the Congress he jumped at the opportunity to hitch a lift home. He didn’t want to be there any longer. Kind of hard to say no to when I’m clearly going that way. Soon after Karate Kid arrives and talks with us for a bit. He pulls me to the side to talk and I tell him I can’t otherwise I’d cry. He then suggests that we talk in my room. We didn’t get to talk much, I was too defensive. We just layed together the whole time until he had to go to meet his group. As he was leaving he sternly tells me the next time he calls I should answer as it’s rude. Maybe so, but it is my choice at the end of the day if I want to talk to him.
After he left I gave The Dance Teacher the time of our departure and started getting glammed up for the party back at home. I figured it was a better investment of time than going to dinner with Karate Kid and his gang and then watching performances for two hours – making lemonade from those lemons!
The drive home with The Dance Teacher was nice. He asked me why I wanted to stay on my own for the Congress and I told him that I hadn’t been invited and then teased about being excluded. I didn’t say who, just that I was very close to not going at all. He comforted me by putting his hand on mine. He is so lovely, such a shame he only wants sex. He asked me about who I was seeing and so I tangented to saying dating was too hard at the moment. He suggested that I just go and sleep with someone that I have chemistry with and to see what happens….no thanks. We parted with a warm hug when we arrived at his place. Time for the epic night of dancing to start for me!
Highlights from Party 1 were that The Millionaire was there with his lady. Awkward much? Being respectful I kept my distance. He eventually came to find me for a dance. He said it was so great that I’d moved back to the city and that we had connection dancing. I wondered if he was a swinger and how she could be okay with him being on that website (did she even know?). I kept my distance for the rest of my time there.
Surf Guy was also at the party. He asked me to dance and it took me three quarters of the song to remember his real name. It’d been so long since we’d seen each other.
The final noteworthy highlight was The Brazilian. I’ve never mentioned him before as there wasn’t much to say. He came to find me for a dance and took me to the second room with a different flavour of dance that I’m not proficient at. During our second dance together I had my eyes closed as I usually do to help connect with the music. I felt a nose on mine and realised he was leaning in to kiss me!!! I pulled back and opened my eyes. We laughed and I kept my eyes opened for the rest of the dance. To help alleviate any anxiety I told him that the magic of the dance must have overcome him. A kiss in Brazil is significant as it means that you’re officially seeing each other – every woman should know this! I didn’t want to send the wrong message. At the end of the song we thanked each other and he tried to kiss me again!!! I laughed and asked if he’d been drinking – he hadn’t. That was my que to leave for the next party. I cruised down the highway wondering if it was my new lipstick colour that was attracting kisses of late. It could also be that I’m dressing too nicely. Who would have ever thought that that could be a problem?
I arrived for the Masquerade party with perfect timing. I had changed into a white flowing dress and put on my dazzling crystal butterfly mask (totally worth the 3 hours of driving to go back for it the other day!). I looked like a swan princess and sure felt like it. It’s truly amazing how much confidence a mask can bring you. It lured many a bedazzled man on the dance floor that night.
Karate Kid was dressed in a devil mask – it actually suited him too well. We had a couple of dances and I told him I had let go of the angst I had held towards him. He followed that up quickly by asking if I’d be joining them for breakfast the next morning. Does he not realise how much effort it would take for me to achieve that? I’d have to wake up for starters! Then shower, change and put on bare minimum make up just to look half alive! And let’s not forget that because of him I had organised my own food so that I could eat in my comfortable pyjamas looking out at the calming sea from my balcony. So told him I may be too tired. This of course didn’t go down too well.
It dawned on me part way through that party that I could ask a girlfriend of confidence what he is actually like. I just couldn’t be sure if he was relationship material. I kept a look out for her but couldn’t see her.
At 2.30am I told Karate Kid at the end of a dance that I’d be going soon. About 10 minutes later he came to tell me that he was going, but then said thay he needed to find one of the girls from his accommodation (they only had 2 keys for 10 people). A little hurt, but understanding, I tell him that I hadn’t seen her for a while. He starts texting her and I finally sight the girlfriend of confidence who I’d been looking for. Not sure if Karate Kid would offer to walk me to my hotel room I go to talk to her instead.
Her words were somewhat comforting. She said she thinks he’s a good guy but a bit lonely. She finds it hard to talk with him and thinks that that could be an issue. She mentioned that he had been seeing one of the other ladies from dance a couple of years ago who he’s still friends with. She wasn’t sure why things didn’t work out. Embarrassingly, I immediately felt threatened by this other woman. Maybe because he still probably likes her and likely respects her more than he does me? She’s staying in the group accommodation and I’m not afterall. My girlfriend of confidence summarised by saying if he’s not acting like a boyfriend it may be not worth investing in. I knew this already…..
During our conversation Karate Kid walked towards the exit. He wasn’t going to say goodbye. I stayed talking with my friend for 10 minutes more and then left the party. There was a message from Karate Kid awaiting me on my phone saying that he’d left and that breakfast was at 9am. I felt bad we didn’t say goodnight so sent a message saying if he came back that we could talk, but if he was settled to sleep well. No reply.
Laying in bed trying to fall asleep the thought crossed my mind – if I was his ex who he’s still friends with would he be jumping at the chance to see me? She’s nothing special in my mind, but she could be the one that got away and therefore very special to him.
But the best thoughts to fall asleep to.
Anastasia
The Contemporary Princess 